litude, but that she
sought consolation among the many gallants and disengaged visitors at
Morfontaine, he determined to surprise her. It was past eleven o'clock
at night when his arrival was announced to Joseph, who had just retired
to his closet. Madame Miot had been in bed ever since nine, ill of a
migraine, and her husband was too affectionate not to be the first to
inform her of his presence, without permitting anybody previously to
disturb her. With great reluctance, Madame Miot's maid delivered the key
of her rooms, while she accompanied him with a light. In the antechamber
he found a hat and a greatcoat, and in the closet adjoining the bedroom,
a coat, a waistcoat, and a pair of breeches, with drawers, stockings, and
slippers. Though the maid kept coughing all the time, Madame Miot and
her gallant did not awake from their slumber, till the enraged husband
began to use the bludgeon of the lover, which had also been left in the
closet. A battle then ensued, in which the lover retaliated so
vigorously, that the husband called out "Murder! murder!" with all his
might. The chateau was instantly in an uproar, and the apartments
crowded with half-dressed and half-naked lovers. Joseph Bonaparte alone
was able to separate the combatants; and inquiring the cause of the riot,
assured them that he would suffer no scandal and no intrigues in his
house, without seriously resenting it. An explanation being made, Madame
Miot was looked for but in vain; and the maid declared that, being warned
by a letter from Paris of her husband's jealousy and determination to
surprise her, her mistress had reposed herself in her room; while, to
punish the ungenerous suspicions of her husband, she had persuaded
Captain d' Horteuil to occupy her place in her own bed. The maid had no
sooner finished her deposition, than her mistress made her appearance and
upbraided her husband severely, in which she was cordially joined by the
spectators. She inquired if, on seeing the dress of a gentleman, he had
also discovered the attire of a female; and she appealed to Captain d'
Horteuil whether he had not the two preceding nights also slept in her
bed. To this he, of course, assented; adding that, had M. Miot attacked
him the first night, he would not then perhaps have been so roughly
handled as now; for then he was prepared for a visit, which this night
was rather unexpected. This connubial farce ended by Miot begging pardon
of his wife and h