d been
shipped to England, and then sent back to Ireland for us to wear!

The spark of patriotism which was in each man when he enlisted was dead.
We detested the army, we hated the routine, we were sickened and dulled
and crushed by drill.

The old habit of being always on the alert for anything picturesque
saved me from idiotcy. Whenever opportunity offered, or whenever I could
take French leave, I went off with sketchbook and pencil, and forgot for
a time the horror of barrack-room life, with its unending flow of filthy
language, and its barren desolation of yellow-washed walls and broken
windows.

And then we moved to Dublin.

CHAPTER IV. CHARACTERS

It may be very amusing to read about "Kipps" and those commonplace
people whom Mr. H.G. Wells describes so cleverly, but to have to live
with them in barracks is far from pleasant.

There were shop-assistants, dental mechanics, city clerks, office boys,
medical students, and a whole mass of very ordinary, very uninteresting
people. There was a fair sprinkling of mining engineers and miners,
and these men were more interesting and of a far stronger mental and
physical development. They were huge, full-chested, strong-armed men who
swore and drank heavily, but were honest and straight.

There were characters here from the docks and from the merchant
service, some of whom had surely been created for W.W. Jacobs. One in
particular--Joe Smith, a sailor-man (an engine-greaser, I think)--was
full of queer yarns and seafaring talk. He was a little man with beady
eyes and a huge curled moustache. He walked about quickly, with the
seamen's lurch, as I have noticed most seagoing men of the merchant
service do.

This man "came up" in bell-bottomed trousers and a pea jacket. He was
fond of telling a yarn about a vessel which was carrying a snake in a
crate from the West Indies. This snake got into the boiler when they
were cleaning out the engine-room.

"The capt'in ses to me, 'Joe.' I ses, 'Yes-sir.' 'Joe,' says 'e, 'wot's
to be done?'

"'Why,' ses I, 'thing is ter git this 'ere snake out ag'in!'

"'Jistso,' says the capt'in; 'but 'oo' ter do it?'--'E always left
everythink ter me--and I ses, 'Why, sir, it's thiswise, if sobe all the
others are afeared, I ain't, or my name's Double Dutch.'

"'Very good, melad,' ses the capt'in, 'I relies on you, Joe.'--'E always
did--and would you believe it, I upped an' 'ooked that there great
rattlesnake out of the boiler