sinks or runs;
For surely such proceeding will be worse than shot or shell,
Just think of being _hit_ with cheese--say nothing of the smell!"
The pirates laughed and vowed my scheme would give them lots of fun;
And soon a big, red, round, Dutch cheese was rammed in every gun.
It was not long before the _Black Avenger_ came abreast
And hailed the ship from Switzerland with true piratic zest;
But not a Switzer said a word, nor made they any sign,
But all the sailors on the ship were ranged along in line,
And leaned upon the starboard rail, with sunken pallid cheeks
As though they had not tasted food for six or seven weeks.
The swarthy Bo's'n hailed again, and as no answer came
The Gunner's Mate averred it was high time to start the game.
I spoke the word, and seven guns all loaded up with cheese
Were fired at the Switzer ship as nicely as you please;
And then a second volley went, and soon again a third.
And when the smoke had cleared away we saw what had occurred.
Each cheese had hit the Switzer ship and flattened on her decks,
The Switzer men were wading in the cheese up to their necks.
We waited then to see what sort of fighting they would make,
And wondered how much cheese these Switzer sailor-men could take.
But as we waited silence came all o'er the Switzer craft,
And not a seaman seemed to move, or forward or abaft.
I called the Bo's'n to the bridge, and "Take the gig," said I;
"Go board yon ship, where all is still, and learn the reason why."
The Bo's'n quick got in the gig with sixteen of the crew,
He took along a cannon and an Edam cheese or two,
And half an hour he was gone, then slowly rowed he back;
He said to me: "Good Captain," he sobbed, "alas, alack!
Upon that floating vessel there's no one left to fight;
There's not a living creature, not a living thing in sight.
No man remains to give reply to any kind of question:
The Switzers ate up all the cheese, and died of indigestion."

There was another great demonstration of approval as soon as the
ex-Pirate had concluded, but Tommy paid little attention to the noise
this time, because he had become somewhat accustomed to it.

"You see," said the ex-Pirate, apologetically, "I could not very well
read anything like that--all about cheese--in the presence of the Welsh
Rabbit; could I?"

"Of course not," agreed Tommy; "but is it true that--"

"I say," interrupted the Gopher, leaning in front