ows. _Pasiphae_, I am very
sorry to say it, conceived a Passion worse, if possible, than that of
Mrs. _Mary Hamilton_, for this Bull. Lady ---- is not more envied in
the Drawing-Room than was every handsome Heifer by this unfortunate
Woman. The Story is so well known that there is not a Freethinker[33]
in the Age who can refuse his Credit to it, though they believe
nothing which they cannot see and account for. This poor Girl is
reported to have mowed the sweetest Grass with her own Hands for her
beloved Bull. She likewise wandered about among the Cows, without the
least Regard to Mr. Alderman. _Minos_ her Husband; for a Bull had
totally supplanted him in her Esteem. Alas! _Pasiphae_, to what
purpose are the brocaded Petticoats? Your Gallant is not sensible of
your Finery. Why do you consult your Looking-Glass, in order to pursue
the Mountain-Herds? Or why with so much Art do you set your _Tete_? If
you will consult your Glass, let it inform you you are no Heifer. Ah!
how desirous are you to have those Horns on your own Forehead, which
you intend to graft on your Husband's! It would be better to preserve
your Virtue, and be constant to the Alderman, if you can like him: But
if you must make a Cuckold of him, do it at least with a young Fellow.
No; nothing but a Bull will suffice. She leaves the Alderman's House,
and flies away to the Groves and Mountains. To say the truth, I
believe she used to drink away her Senses; and that is the best Excuse
for her. Ah! how often hath she cast a jealous Eye on some Heifer! and
cried out, _Why should that vixen please my Love? Behold, says she,
how the Slut dances a Minuet on the Grass before him: Let me die, but
she is silly enough to think her Airs become her in my Love's Eyes._
At length she resolved to punish her Rivals. One Heifer she ordered
barbarously to be yoked to the Plough; another she condemned to be
sacrificed, and held the Entrails of the poor Victim in her Hand with
all the insulting Triumph of a Rival: _Now_, says she, having the
Entrails in her Hand, _now go and make yourself agreeable to my Dear_.
At one time she wishes to be _Europa_[34], at another _Io_: for one of
these was herself the Wife of a Bull, and the other made her Horse of
one.

Filled with these Thoughts, she contrived the strangest Method of
compleating her Desires. She sent for a Joiner of great Ingenuity, and
ordered him to make her a large Cow of Wood. Into this she conveyed
herself, and thus dec