r
or Peevishness; and, if not in a pleasant, at least in an open
good-humour'd Manner, free, I dare say, from Pedantry and Sourness.
Therefore None of them ever touch'd upon this Point, or spoke one
Syllable of the only Thing, which in their Hearts they hate me for.

Here, Sir, I must trouble you with a Parable, in which are couch'd the
Prevarications and false Pretences with which the Generality of the
World would cover their real Inclinations and the Ends of their Wishes.
May it prove as diverting to you as the Matter is really instructive.

_In old Heathen Times there was, they say, a Whimsical Country, where
the People talked much of Religion; and the greatest Part, as to
outward Appearance, seem'd really devout: The chief moral Evil among
them was Thirst, and to quench it, a Damnable Sin; yet they unanimously
agreed, that Every one was born Thirsty more or less. Small Beer in
Moderation was allow'd to All; and he was counted an Hypocrite, a
Cynick, or a Madman, who pretended that One could live altogether
without it; yet those, who owned they loved it, and drank it to Excess,
were counted Wicked. All this while the Beer it self was reckon'd a
Blessing from Heaven, and there was no Harm in the Use of it; all the
Enormity lay in the Abuse, the Motive of the Heart, that made them
drink it. He that took the least Drop of it to quench his Thirst,
committed a heinous Crime, whilst others drank large Quantities without
any Guilt, so they did it indifferently, and for no other Reason than
to mend their Complexion._

_They brew'd for other Countries as well as their own; and for the
Small Beer they sent abroad, they receiv'd large Returns of
Westphaly-Hams, Neats-Tongues, Hung-Beef, and Bolonia-Sausages, Red
Herrings, Pickled Sturgeon, Cavear, Anchovies, and every Thing that was
proper to make their Liquor go down with Pleasure. Those who kept great
Stores of Small Beer by them, without making use of it, were generally
envied, and at the same Time very odious to the Publick; and No body
was easy that had not enough of it to come to his own Share. The
greatest Calamity they thought could befall them, was to keep their
Hops and Barley upon their Hands; and the more they yearly consumed of
them, the more they reckon'd the Country to flourish._

_The Government had made very wise Regulations concerning the Returns
that were made for their Exports; encouraged very much the Importation
of Salt and Pepper, and laid heavy Dutie