red gewgaws. And billah, she has
stuffings and paddings, too. And false teeth and foul breath! Never
mind. Pass on, and let her pass. But tarry thou a moment here. Behold
this pyrotechnic display, these buntings and flags; hear thou this
music and these shouts and cheers; on yonder stump is an orator
dispensing to his fellow citizens spread-eagle rhetoric as empty as
yonder drum: these are the elaborate and attractive ruffles of
politics. And among the crowd are genial and honest citizens who have
their own way of ruffling your temper with their coarse flounces of
linsey-woolsey freedom. Wilt thou have more?"

Decidedly not, we reply. For how can we even keep company with Khalid,
who has become such a maniac on flounces? And was this fantastic,
phantasmagoric rhapsody all inspired by Najma's simple remark on his
hair? Fruitful is thy word, O woman!

But being so far away now from the Hermitage in the Bronx, what has
the "cherry in the cocktail" and "the olive in the oyster patty" to do
with all this? Howbeit, the following deserves a place as the
tail-flounce of his Fantasy.

* * * * *

"Your superman and superwoman," says he, with philosophic calm, "may
go Adam-and-Eve like if they choose. But can they, even in that chaste
and splendid nudity, dispense with ruffles and flounces? Pray, tell
me, did not our first parents spoon and sentimentalise in the
Paradise, before the Serpent appeared? And would they not often
whisper unto each other, 'Ah, Adam, ah, Eve!' sighing likewise for
sweeter things? And what about those fatal Apples, those two sour
fruits of their Love?--I tell thee every new-born babe is the
magnificent flesh-flounce of a shivering, trembling, nudity. And I
Khalid, what am I but the visible ruffle of an invisible skirt?
Verily, I am; and thou, too, my Brother. Yea, and this aquaterrestrial
globe and these sidereal heavens are the divine flounces of the
Vesture of Allah."

CHAPTER VII

THE HOWDAJ OF FALSEHOOD

"Humanity is so feeble in mind," says Renan, "that the purest thing
has need of the co-operation of some impure agent." And this, we
think, is the gist of Khalid's rhapsody on flounces and ruffles. But
how is he to reconcile the fact with the truth in his case? For a
single sanctified ruffle--a line of type in the canon law--is likely
to upset all his plans. Yes, a priest in alb and chasuble not only can
dispense with the blessings of his Pop