told my honourable friends of the opposition," he said, with an
ironical bow in the direction of the now folded Navy League banner,
"have played some kind of a practical joke in the eastern counties
to-day. Well, children will be children; but I am afraid there will have
to be spankings if half that I hear is true. They have tried to frighten
you into abandoning this Demonstration with a pretended invasion of
England. Well, my friends, it does not look to me as though their
invasion had affected this Demonstration very seriously. I seem to fancy
I see quite a number of people gathered together here. (It is estimated
that over sixty thousand people were trying to hear his words.) But all
I have to say on this invasion question is just this: If our friends
from Germany have invaded East Anglia, let us be grateful for their
enterprise, and, as a nation of shopkeepers should, let us make as much
as we can out of 'em. But don't let us forget our hospitality. If our
neighbours have dropped in in a friendly way, why, let's be sure we've
something hot for supper. Perhaps a few sausages wouldn't be taken
amiss. (The laughter and applause was so continuous here that for some
moments nothing further could be heard.) No, my friends, this invasion
hoax should now be placed finally upon the retired list. It has been on
active service now since the year 1800, and I really think it's time our
spread-eagle friends gave us a change. Let me for one moment address you
in my official capacity, as your servant and a member of the Government.
This England of ours is about as much in danger of being invaded as I am
of becoming a millionaire, and those of you----"

The speaker's next words never reached me, being drowned by a great roar
of laughter and applause. Just then I turned round to remonstrate with a
man who was supporting himself upon my right shoulder. I was on the edge
of the one narrow part of the crowd, against some iron railings. As I
turned I noticed a number of boys tearing along in fan-shaped formation,
and racing toward the crowd from the direction of Marble Arch. My eyes
followed the approaching boys, and I forgot the fellow who had been
plaguing me. The lads were all carrying bundles of papers, and now, as
they drew nearer, I could see and hear that they were yelling as they
ran.

"Another special edition," I thought. "No sort of a Sunday for poor
Wardle."

The President of the Local Government Board had resumed his speech