.

Military Road--A large body of land, without beginning or end, entirely
covered by water.

Camion--1. A large, immovable body which one is expected to carry on
one's shoulders through the mud. 2. The thing that brings the mail out.

Army Rifle--Something eternally dirty which must be kept eternally
clean.

Bayonet--A long, sharp, pointed object whose only satisfactory resting
place is the midriff of a Hun.

Pay-day--1. A "movable feast." 2. A time for cancellation of debts. 3.
The date of the return of the laundry one sent away a month and a half
before.

----
THIS REALLY HAPPENED.
----

End of letter: "Goodbye, my dear, for the present. Yours, Jack."
Then--"x--x--x--x--x--x--x--x. P. S. I hope the censor doesn't object to
those crosses."

Added by Friend Censor: "Certainly not! x--x--x--x--x--x--x--x!"

----
KISS FOR RESCUER
OF PIG FROM BLAZE
----
A Beantown Fire-Fighter
Hero of Epoch-Making
Conflagration.
----

"Weee-ah-eeeeeee-ah-eeeeeee!"

Private John Doe, late of the Boston fire department, knew something was
up when, on a certain Sunday morning not long ago, he heard that sound
issuing from the second story of the house-barn in which his command was
billeted. Also he saw a thin streamer of smoke, no bigger than Rhode
Island, winding its way out of the house-barn door. He sniffed, then
hollered "Fire!"

"Fire?" echoed some of his bunk mates, coming up the road. Fire? How
could there be fire in a country where not even sulphurous language
served to start the kitchen kindlings? How could there be fire in a
country where only every other match will light at all, at all?

Nevertheless, up they hustled, to see a bit of blaze lapping the edge of
the house-barn door, and to hear, from within, the plaintive cry of
"Weee-ah-eeeeee-ah-eeeeeee!"

"Steady, piggy darlint!" came Private Doe's soothing accents, from the
second story. "Sure an' it's meeself will resthcue yeze from this
burnin' ould shack! You below there! Climb on up an' lind a hand at
pullin' out the hay that's up here, or ilse the whole place will be
burnted down intoirely!"

Enter the Reserves.

Into the barn