irectors. Therefore it may well be supposed to intimidate a woman. He
talks of his passion for me with a degree of earnestness which renders
it impossible to doubt his sincerity. Yet this very circumstance, which
you would suppose likely to please me, is precisely that which has
withheld me from giving the consent which I have often been upon the
point of uttering.

"My spring of life is past. Can I then hope to preserve for any length
of time that ardor of affection which in the general amounts almost to
madness? If his love should cool, as it certainly will after our
marriage, will he not reproach me for having prevented him from forming
a more advantageous connection? What, then, shall I say? What shall I
do? I may shut myself up and weep. Fine consolation truly, methinks I
hear you say. But unavailing as I know it is, weeping is, I assure you,
my only consolation whenever my poor heart receives a wound. Write to me
quickly, and pray scold me if you think me wrong. You know every thing
is welcome that comes from you.

"Barras[B] assures me that if I marry the general, he will get him
appointed commander-in-chief of the Army of Italy. This favor, though
not yet granted, occasions some murmuring among Bonaparte's
brother-officers. When speaking to me on the subject yesterday, General
Bonaparte said:

[Footnote B: Barras, a leading member of the Directory, and a strong
friend of General Bonaparte.]

"'Do they think that I can not get forward without their patronage? One
day or other they will all be too happy if I grant them mine. I have a
good sword by my side, which will carry me on.'

"What do you think of this self-confidence? Does it not savor of
excessive vanity? A general of brigade to talk of patronizing the chiefs
of Government? It is very ridiculous. Yet I know not how it happens, his
ambitious spirit sometimes wins upon me so far that I am almost tempted
to believe in the practicability of any project he takes into his head;
and who can foresee what he may attempt?

"Madame Tallien desires me to present her love to you. She is still fair
and good as ever. She employs her immense influence only for the benefit
of the unfortunate. And when she performs a favor, she appears as
pleased and satisfied as though she herself were the obliged party. Her
friendship for me is most affectionate and sincere. And of my regard for
her I need only say that it is equal to that which I entertain for you.

"Hortense gro