ll said, half unconsciously; "O mighty Mother!
I come, O mighty Mother! I come; but I am far from home. Spare me a
little; I come with what speed I may, but I am slow of foot, and not as
others, O mighty Mother!"

By the time he had walked two miles in this excitement, bodily and
mental, he felt himself, as was not wonderful, considerably exhausted.
He slackened his pace, and gradually came to himself, but still he went
on, as if mechanically, "O mighty Mother!" Suddenly he cried, "Hallo!
where did I get these words? Willis did not use them. Well, I must be on
my guard against these wild ways. Any one can be an enthusiast;
enthusiasm is not truth ... O mighty Mother!... Alas, I know where my
heart is! but I must go by reason ... O mighty Mother!"

CHAPTER XXI.

The time came at length for Charles to return to Oxford; but during the
last month scruples had arisen in his mind, whether, with his present
feelings, he could consistently even present himself for his
examination. No subscription was necessary for his entrance into the
schools, but he felt that the honours of the class-list were only
intended for those who were _bona fide_ adherents of the Church of
England. He laid his difficulty before Carlton, who in consequence did
his best to ascertain thoroughly his present state of mind. It seemed
that Charles had no _intention_, either now or at any future day, of
joining the Church of Rome; that he felt he could not take such a step
at present without distinct sin; that it would simply be against his
conscience to do so; that he had no feeling whatever that God called him
to do so; that he felt that nothing could justify so serious an act but
the conviction that he could not be saved in the Church to which he
belonged; that he had no such feeling; that he had no definite case
against his own Church sufficient for leaving it, nor any definite view
that the Church of Rome was the One Church of Christ:--that still he
could not help suspecting that one day he should think otherwise; he
conceived the day might come, nay would come, when he should have that
conviction which at present he had not, and which of course would be a
call on him to act upon it, by leaving the Church of England for that of
Rome; he could not tell distinctly why he so anticipated, except that
there were so many things which he thought right in the Church of Rome,
and so many which he thought wrong in the Church of England; and,
because, to