In a little while I shall be further off than that."

"What do you mean?"

"Do not speak of it to Rodolphe, it would cause him too much pain, but I
am going away forever."

"But whither?"

"Look here, Marcel," said Mimi sobbing, "look."

And lifting up the sheet of the bed a little she showed the artist her
shoulders, neck and arms.

"Good heavens!" exclaimed Marcel mournfully, "poor girl."

"Is it not true, my friend, that I do not deceive myself and that I am
soon going to die."

"But how did you get into such a state in so short a time?"

"Ah!" replied Mimi, "with the life I have been leading for the past two
months it is not astonishing; nights spent in tears, days passed in
posing in studios without any fire, poor living, grief, and then you do
not know all, I tried to poison myself with Eau de Javelle. I was saved
but not for long as you see. Besides I have never been very strong, in
short it is my fault, if I had remained quietly with Rodolphe I should
not be like this. Poor fellow, here I am again upon his hands, but it
will not be for long, the last dress he will give me will be all white,
Marcel, and I shall be buried in it. Ah! If you knew how I suffer
because I am going to die. Rodolphe knows that I am ill, he remained for
over an hour without speaking last night when he saw my arms and
shoulders so thin. He no longer recognized his Mimi. Alas! My very
looking glass does not know me. Ah! All the same I was pretty and he did
love me. Oh, God!" she exclaimed, burying her face in Marcel's hands. "I
am going to leave you and Rodolphe too, oh God!" and sobs choked her
voice.

"Come, Mimi," said Marcel, "never despair, you will get well, you only
want care and rest."

"Ah, no!" said Mimi. "It is all over, I feel it. I have no longer any
strength, and when I came here last night it took me over an hour to get
up the stairs. If I found a woman here I should have gone down by way of
the window. However, he was free since we were no longer together, but
you see, Marcel, I was sure he loved me still. It was on account of
that," she said, bursting into tears, "it is on account of that that I
do not want to die at once, but it is all over with me. He must be very
good, poor fellow, to take me back after all the pain I have given him.
Ah! God is not just, since he does not leave me only the time to make
Rodolphe forget the grief I caused him. He does not know the state in
which I am. I would not have him lie