of the times, the anguish of
many souls in the midst of the present persecutions, etc., will draw
attention to any project or plan or system that offers a better
future."

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CHAPTER XXXIV

IN THE SHADOW OF DEATH

"I LOOK back," wrote Father Hecker in the summer of 1879, "on these
three years as one continuous and dreadful interior struggle." This
shows that the shadows were too deep and broad for the intervals of
peace, which we know from his letters he had now and then enjoyed, to
banish the impression of constant gloom. And Father Hecker's
readiness to return home upon positive request will be the better
appreciated when we remember how very painful to him was the very
thought of his past occupations. Nor was his bodily health in a
hopeful condition. While at Ragatz in the month of June, 1875, he met
a distinguished physician from Paris, an excellent Catholic, whom
he had been strongly advised to consult before. Glad of the chance,
he submitted to a thorough examination, and received from him a
written statement to the effect that it would be dangerous to take up
any steady occupation, and that he should be entirely free from care
for at least a year; otherwise a final break-down was to be expected.
This seemed effectually to bar all thoughts of return. And such was
his own settled conviction, as is shown by the following, written
about the end of June:

"Where could I find repose? Not in the community; not at my
brother's: nowhere else to go. Then, again, I would be constantly
required to give opinions and counsel in the affairs of the
community, which would require an application beyond my strength.
There is no other way than for me to remain contented in Europe,
with my feebleness and obscurity, in the hands of God."

But on July 29 he received a letter which compelled him to decide
between tranquillity of spirit and bodily comfort--perhaps life
itself--on the one hand, and the call of his brethren on the other.
He decided without a moment's hesitation and with the utmost
equanimity. We quote from a letter to George Hecker:

"Three days ago a letter from Father Hewit reached me urging my
immediate return in such strong language and with such considerations
that I wrote a reply expressing my readiness to return at once. On
re-reading the letter I found its tone so urgent that I sent a
telegram to the above effect. . . . In God's hands are my being, my
soul, and all my faculti