ted him and cherished his memory as that of a
saintly friend and benefactor.

On another occasion we find a fuller account of the same events:

"Only for Father de Buggenoms I should not have been ordained at all."

"Who was De Buggenoms?"

"A Belgian, and my confessor while I was at Clapham. I was there, not
ordained, nor yet making my studies. I had been forced to give them
up; I could not go on with them. De Held did not know what to make of
me, and he treated me harshly and cruelly. Finally I went to him and
told him my thoughts; I said I was absolutely certain I had a
religious vocation; that he might compel me to take of the habit, but
it would be like taking off my skin; and so on. After that interview
De Held changed toward me and was ever after my warm friend. He was a
very prominent member of the Congregation. You know he came within a
few votes of being Rector-major. He was very warm in his sympathy
with us during our trouble in Rome. Well, Heilig, a German, was about
coming over to England as superior. He had been my director for two
years. Before he came he wrote me a letter that gave me indescribable
pain. He wrote that I must change--that I was all wrong, and so on. I
answered that it was too late to change; that he had been my director
for two years, knew me well, and had been cognizant of my state. If
he wanted me changed he must do it for me, for I did not see how to
do it for myself. When he came, De Buggenoms told him to have me
ordained, set me to work at anything, and he (De Buggenoms) would be
responsible for me in every respect. Heilig complied. I asked him
afterwards why he wrote that letter. 'Because,' said he, 'I thought
you needed to be tried some more.' 'Why,' said I, 'I have had nothing
but trial ever since I came.'"

From this it would seem that the case was finally settled by Father
Heilig after Father de Held's departure for the Continent, which took
place, as well as we can discover, some time in the summer of 1849.
Father Heilig's letter, written from Liege, is before us; it is dated
the 24th of March, 1849. It is a complete arraignment of Isaac
Hecker's spiritual condition. It is gentle, considerate, choice of
terms, but condenses all that could be said to show that his young
friend had been deluded by a visionary temperament, applying to
himself what he had read in mystical treatises and the lives of the
saints. The letter was indeed a deadly blow. Father Heilig had been
Brothe