piles of sandbags over me I couldn't get warm, and, like
Bairnsfather's 'fed-up one,' had to get out and rest a bit.
Two hours of my four had passed when word came down that I
was wanted by the Sergeant-Major. Hallo, thinks I, what am I
wanted for? Ah, letters! I was a source of continued
annoyance to the Captain because of my many letters.

"However, he that expecteth nothing shall receive his seven
days' leave, for that's what it proved to be. I stood with
unbelieving ears whilst the Serjeant-Major rattled off
something to the effect that I was on the next party for
leave, and was to go down H.Q. the following night. I
crawled back to my dug-out, wondering if I was really awake.
Eventually reaching our post, I cried, 'John, my boy, this
child's on a Blightly trip.' No profuse congratulations
emanated from that quarter, but a voice from a dug-out
cried, 'Good! you can take that clip of German cartridges
home for me.' This was our souvenir hunter; he'd barter his
last biscuit for a nose cap of a Hun shell, and was a
frequenter of the artillery dug-outs. My next two hours'
guard was carried out in a very dreamy sort of way. I had
already planned what I should do and how I would surprise
them all. Next day I was busy scraping off the mud from my
tunic and overcoat. I spent hours on the job, but they
seemed very little different when I had finished.

"That night I covered the three miles of mud and shell-holes
to H.Q. in record time. There I met the other lucky ones and
received orders to turn in and parade at 9 a.m. for baths
and underclothing. There were no trousers, puttees, or
overcoats in the stores, and so we had to come over as we
were, a picture that had no fitting background other than
the trenches. At dusk we boarded the motor-bus which
conveyed us to the rail-head. That old bus had never had
such a cargo of light hearts when plying between Shepherd's
Bush and Liverpool Street. At the rail-head we transferred
to the waiting train, and it was not long before we were on
our way. Bully beef and biscuits were on the seats, our
day's rations. Never mind--we shall soon be having something
a good deal more appetising. We did wish we had something
warmer than the water in our bottles, and at our next stop
we found our o