!"--Now if you can
argue with a woman who, when you say one thing, maintains the contrary,
when you give her one word, treats you to a dozen, and who, if you bid
her shut up, cries, or even, I beg of you, faints--well, I envy you,
that's all! In short, up and down, this way and that way, she got the
best of it--she, not I, because the fact is, when she wants a thing, it
has to be!

Well, what next? Gymnasiye! The first thing was to prepare the boy for
the elementary class in the Junior Preparatory. I must say, I did not
see anything very alarming in that. It seemed to me that anyone of our
Cheder boys, an Alef-Bes scholar, could tuck it all into his belt,
especially a boy like mine, for whose equal you might search an empire,
and not find him. I am a father, not of you be it said! but that boy has
a memory that beats everything! To cut a long story short, he went up
for examination and--did _not_ pass! You ask the reason? He only got a
two in arithmetic; they said he was weak at calculation, in the science
of mathematics. What do you think of that? He has a memory that beats
everything! I tell you, you might search an empire for his like--and
they come talking to me about mathematics! Well, he failed to pass, and
it vexed me very much. If he _was_ to go up for examination, let him
succeed. However, being a man and not a woman, I made up my mind to
it--it's a misfortune, but a Jew is used to that. Only what was the use
of talking to _her_ with that bee in her bonnet? Once for all,
Gymnasiye! I reason with her. "Tell me," say I, "(may you be well!) what
is the good of it? He's safe," say I, "from military service, being an
only son, and as for Parnosseh, devil I need it for Parnosseh! What do I
care if he _does_ become a trader like his father, a merchant like the
rest of the Jews? If he is destined to become a rich man, a banker, I
don't see that I'm to be pitied."

Thus do I reason with her as with the wall. "So much the better," says
she, "if he has _not_ been entered for the Junior Preparatory."--"What
now?" say I.

"Now," says she, "he can go direct to the Senior Preparatory."

Well, Senior Preparatory, there's nothing so terrible in that, for the
boy has a head, I tell you! You might search an empire.... And what was
the result? Well, what do you suppose? Another two instead of a five,
not in mathematics this time--a fresh calamity! His spelling is not what
it should be. That is, he can spell all right, but he g