enemy, I tell you, will never do him the harm he does
himself, especially when a woman interferes, that is, a wife. Whom do
you think I have in mind when I say that? My own self! Look at me and
think. What would you take me for? Just an ordinary Jew. It doesn't say
on my nose whether I have money, or not, or whether I am very low
indeed, does it?

It may be that I once _had_ money, and not only that--money in itself is
nothing--but I can tell you, I earned a living, and that respectably and
quietly, without worry and flurry, not like some people who like to live
in a whirl.

No, my motto is, "More haste, less speed."

I traded quietly, went bankrupt a time or two quietly, and quietly went
to work again. But there is a God in the world, and He blessed me with a
wife--as she isn't here, we can speak openly--a wife like any other,
that is, at first glance she isn't so bad--not at all! In person, (no
evil eye!) twice my height; not an ugly woman, quite a beauty, you may
say; an intelligent woman, quite a man--and that's the whole trouble!
Oi, it isn't good when the wife is a man! The Almighty knew what He was
about when, at the creation, he formed Adam first and then Eve. But
what's the use of telling her that, when _she_ says, "If the Almighty
created Adam first and then Eve, that's _His_ affair, but if he put
more sense into my heel than into your head, no more am I to blame for
that!"

"What is all this about?" say I.--"It's about that which should be first
and foremost with you," says she.--"But I have to be the one to think of
everything--even about sending the boy to the Gymnasiye!"--"Where," say
I, "is it 'written' that my boy should go to the Gymnasiye? Can I not
afford to have him taught Torah at home?"--"I've told you a hundred and
fifty times," says she, "that you won't persuade me to go against the
world! And the world," says she, "has decided that children should go to
the Gymnasiye."--"In my opinion," say I, "the world is mad!"--"And you,"
says she, "are the only sane person in it? A pretty thing it would be,"
says she, "if the world were to follow you!"--"Every man," say I,
"should decide on his own course."--"If my enemies," says she, "and my
friends' enemies, had as little in pocket and bag, in box and chest, as
you have in your head, the world would be a different place."--"Woe to
the man," say I, "who needs to be advised by his wife!"--"And woe to the
wife," says she, "who has that man to her husband