.

"'What d'ye want?' says th' prisident.

"'I'm th' corryspondint iv th' Georgia Daily Lyncher, an' I can't
undherstand a wurrud ye say. I've lost me dictionary. Th' people iv
th' State iv Georgia mus' not be deprived iv their information about
th' scand'lous conduct iv this infamious coort.'

"'Thrue,' says th' prisident. 'Fr-rance 'd soon perish if Georgia shud
thransfer its intherest fr'm Fr-rinch coorts to its own sacred timples
iv justice. Perhaps some confrere 'll lind th' distinguished gazabo a
copy iv his Ollendorff. Manewhile'--

"'Mong prisident,' says a white-faced polisman, 'Judge Crazy the
Boore'--

"'Gr-reat hivins!' cried th' prisident. 'Thin th' quarantine at Oporto
is a farce.' An' he plunged into th' seething mass iv handwritin'
experts an' ex-prisidents iv th' raypublic in th' coort-yard below."

THE DREYFUS CASE.

V.

"An' I was thinking Hinnissy" (Mr. Dooley said in conclusion), "as I
set in that there coort, surrounded be me fellow-journalists, spies,
perjurers, an' other statesmen, that I'd give four dollars if th'
prisident iv th' coort 'd call out, 'Moosoo Dooley, take th' stand.'

"'Here,' says I; an' I'd thread me way with dignity through th'
Fr-rinch gin'rals an' ministers on th' flure, an' give me hand to th'
prisident to kiss. If he went anny further, I'd break his head. No
man 'll kiss me, Hinnissy, an' live. What's that ye say? He wudden't
want to? Well, niver mind.

"'Here,' says I, 'mong colonel, what d'ye want with me?'

"'What d'ye know about this case, mong bar-tinder.'

"'Nawthin',' says I. 'But I know as much as annywan else. I know more
thin most iv thim la-ads down below; f'r I can't undherstand a wurrud
ye say, so I'm onable,' I says, 'f'r to make mistakes. I won't give
anny tistimony, because 'twud be out iv place in this sacred timple
devoted to th' practice iv orathry,' I says; 'but I can make as good a
speech as annywan, an' here goes.'

"Gin'ral Merceer--'May I ask this polluted witness wan question?'

"Th' Witness.--'Set down, ye infamious ol' polthroon!' says I. 'Set
down an' pondher ye'er sins,' I says. 'If ye had ye'er dues, ye'd be
cooprin' a bar'l in th' pinitinchry. If ye're afraid iv th' Impror
Willum, be hivins, ye want to be afraid iv th' Impror Dooley; f'r he's
Dutch, an' I ain't. I'll raysume me speech. Lady an' Gintlemen,
prisoner at th' bar, freeman that ought to be there, lawyers,
gin'rals, ex-prisidents, former mimbers iv th' cabin