rmured feebly.
She stroked the man's forehead lightly, and said in a tone of
extraordinary assurance:
"You know I don't deserve to be called naughty. You know what I am
saying is above a personal application. You know better than I do that
one is alone. One day when I was speaking about the joy of living and
you were as sad as I am to-day, you looked at me, and said you did not
know what I was thinking, in spite of my explanations. You showed me
that love is only a kind of festival of solitude, and holding me in
your arms, you ended by exclaiming, 'Our love--I am our love,' and I
gave the inevitable answer, alas, 'Our love--I am our love.'"
He wanted to speak, but she checked him.
"Stop! Take me, squeeze my hands, hold me close, give me a long, long
kiss, do with me what you want--just to bring yourself close to me,
close to me! And tell me that you are suffering. Why, don't you feel
/my/ grief?"
He said nothing, and in the twilight shroud that wrapped them round, I
saw his head make the needless gesture of denial. I saw all the misery
emanating from these two, who for once by chance in the shadows did not
know how to lie any more.
It was true that they were there together, and yet there was nothing to
unite them. There was a void between them. Say what you will, do what
you will, revolt, break into a passion, dispute, threaten--in vain.
Isolation will conquer you. I saw there was nothing to unite them,
nothing.
She kept on in the same strain.
He seemed to be used to these sad monologues, uttered in the same tone,
tremendous invocations to the impossible. He did not answer any more.
He held her in his arms, rocked her quietly, and caressed her with
delicate tenderness. He treated her as if she were a sick child he was
nursing, without telling her what was the matter.
But he was disturbed by her contact. Even when prostrate and desolate,
she quivered warm in his arms. He coveted this prey even though
wounded. I saw his eyes fixed on her, while she gave herself up freely
to her sadness. He pressed his body against hers. It was she whom he
wanted. Her words he threw aside. He did not care for them. They did
not caress him. It was she whom he wanted, she!
Separation! They were very much alike in ideas and temperament, and
just then they were helping each other as much as they could. But I
saw clearly--I who was a spectator apart from men and whose gaze soared
above them--that t
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