nnocentest of women.
Oh, my wife! my wife!" He suddenly threw his handkerchief to the other
end of the room, and burst out laughing. "Ho! ho! Mountjoy, what an
infernal fool you must be to take me seriously. I can act, too. Do you
think I care about my wife? She was a fine woman once: she's a bundle
of old rags now. But she has her merits. Hush! I want to know
something. Have you got a lord among your circle of acquaintance?"

Experience made Mountjoy more careful; perhaps a little too careful. He
only said "Yes."

The doctor's dignity asserted itself. "That's a short answer, sir, to a
man in my position. If you want me to believe you, mention your
friend's name."

Here was a chance at last! "His name;" Mountjoy began, "is Lord
Harry--"

Mr. Vimpany lost his dignity in an instant. He struck his heavy fist on
the table, with a blow that made the tumblers jump.

"Coincidence!" he cried. "How wonderful--no; that's not the
word--providential is the word--how providential are coincidences! I
mean, of course, to a rightly constituted mind. Let nobody contradict
me! When I say a rightly constituted mind I speak seriously; and a
young man like you will be all the better for it. Mountjoy! dear
Mountjoy! jolly Mountjoy! my wife's lord is your lord--Lord Harry. No;
none of your nonsense--I won't have any more wine. Yes, I will; it
might hurt your feelings if I didn't drink with you. Pass the bottle.
Ha! That's a nice ring you've got on your finger. Perhaps you think it
valuable? It's nothing, sir; it's dross, it's dirt, compared to my
wife's diamond pin! There's a jewel, if you like! It will be worth a
fortune to us when we sell it. A gift, dear sir! I'm afraid I've been
too familiar with you. Speaking as a born gentleman, I beg to present
my respects, and I call you 'dear sir.' Did I tell you the diamond pin
was a gift? It's nothing of the sort; we are under no obligation; my
wife, my admirable wife, has earned that diamond pin. By registered
post; and what I call a manly letter from Lord Harry. He is deeply
obliged (I give you the sense of it) by what my wife has done for him;
ready money is scarce with my lord; he sends a family jewel, with his
love. Oh, I'm not jealous. He's welcome to love Mrs. Vimpany, in her
old age, if he likes. Did you say that, sir? Did you say that Lord
Harry, or any man, was welcome to love Mrs. Vimpany? I have a great
mind to throw this bottle at your head. No, I won't; it's wasting good
wine!