oes? Then w'en them
toes is gone them nerves is gone, hain't they?' 'Yes.' 'But the nerve
feelin' is ther' still.' This puzzles father some. 'Then,' sez 'e, 'the
feelin's in the nerves, an' if ther's no nerves, no feelin's.' 'That's
so,' sez the doctor. 'W'en them toes is gone, doctor, the nerves is
gone. 'Ow could ther' be any feelin's?' 'Look 'ere,' sez the doctor, an'
I was feared 'e was gettin' real mad, 'jest quit it right now.' 'Well,
well. All right, doctor,' sez father quite polite, 'I've got a terr'ble
inquirin' mind, an' I jest wanted to know.' Then the doctor 'e did seem
a little ashamed of 'isself, an' 'e set right down an' sez 'e, 'Look
a-'ere, Mr. Fallows, I'll hexplain it to yeh. It's like the telegraph
wire. 'Ere's a station we'll call Bradford, an' 'ere's a station we'll
call London. Hevery station 'as 'is own call. Bradford station, we'll
say, 'as a call X Y Z, an' w'enever X Y Z sounds yeh know that's
Bradford a-speakin'. So if yeh 'eerd X Y Z in London yeh'd know
somethin' was wrong with Bradford.' 'But if ther' hain't any,' breaks in
father, who was gettin' impatient. 'Shut up! will yeh?' sez the doctor,
'till I git through. Well; all 'long that Bradford line yeh can give
that Bradford call. D'yeh see?' 'Can yeh make that Bradford call
houtside of Bradford?' sez father. 'Well,' sez the doctor, an' 'e seemed
quite puzzled, 'e did, 'I suppose yeh can. Any kind of a bang'll do
along the line. Now ther's Benny's toes, w'en they git 'urt they sounds
up to the brain, "Toes! Toes! Toes!" an' all 'long that toe line yeh can
git the same call to the brain.' This keeps father quiet a long time,
then sez 'e, 'I say, doctor, is ther' many of them nerves?' ''Undreds
of 'em.' 'Hevery part of the body got nerves?' 'Yes.' 'Hankles? calves?
shins?' 'Yes, all got nerves.' 'Well, doctor,' sez father, quite
triumphant, 'w'en yeh cut through hankles, shins, an' heverythin', all
them nerves begin to shout, don't they?' 'Yes,' sez the doctor, not
seein' w'ere father was at. 'Then,' sez 'e quick-like, 'w'at makes 'em
all shout "Toes?" W'y don't the brain 'ear "Hankle" or "'Eel"?' Then
the old doctor 'e did git mad an' 'e did swear at father most orful. But
father, 'e knows 'ow to conduct 'isself, an' sez 'e quite dignified, 'I
'ope as 'ow I know 'ow to treat a gentleman.' This pulls the old doctor
up an' 'e sez, 'I beg yer pardon, Mr. Fallows,' sez 'e. 'Don't mention
it,' sez father. Then the doctor went on quite nice, 'Yeh