call
him by his initials. What do they stand for?"

"Well, you see, his father was a physician, and he--he--well he was an
idolater of his profession, and he--well, he was a very eccentric man,
and--"

"What do they stand for! What are you shuffling about?"

"They--well they stand for Spinal Meningitis. His father being a phy--"

"I never heard such an infamous name! Nobody can ever call a person
that--a person they love. I wouldn't call an enemy by such a name.
It sounds like an epithet." After a moment, she added with a kind of
consternation, "Why, it would be my name! Letters would come with it
on."

"Yes--Mrs. Spinal Meningitis Snodgrass."

"Don't repeat it--don't; I can't bear it. Was the father a lunatic?"

"No, that is not charged."

"I am glad of that, because that is transmissible. What do you think was
the matter with him, then?"

"Well, I don't really know. The family used to run a good deal to
idiots, and so, maybe--"

"Oh, there isn't any maybe about it. This one was an idiot."

"Well, yes--he could have been. He was suspected."

"Suspected!" said Sally, with irritation. "Would one suspect there was
going to be a dark time if he saw the constellations fall out of the sky?
But that is enough about the idiot, I don't take any interest in idiots;
tell me about the son."

Very well, then, this one was the eldest, but not the favorite. His
brother, Zylobalsamum--"

"Wait--give me a chance to realize that. It is perfectly stupefying.
Zylo--what did you call it?"

"Zylobalsamum."

"I never heard such a name: It sounds like a disease. Is it a disease?"

"No, I don't think it's a disease. It's either Scriptural or--"

"Well, it's not Scriptural."

"Then it's anatomical. I knew it was one or the other. Yes, I remember,
now, it is anatomical. It's a ganglion--a nerve centre--it is what is
called the zylobalsamum process."

"Well, go on; and if you come to any more of them, omit the names; they
make one feel so uncomfortable."

"Very well, then. As I said, this one was not a favorite in the family,
and so he was neglected in every way, never sent to school, always
allowed to associate with the worst and coarsest characters, and so of
course he has grown up a rude, vulgar, ignorant, dissipated ruffian,
and--"

"He? It's no such thing! You ought to be more generous than to make
such a statement as that about a poor young stranger who--who--why, he is
the very opposite