-finding, execrable savages! Yes; and always in a sweat
about some poor little insignificant trifle or other--destruction catch
the lot of them, I say! I would trade mine for the smallpox and seven
kinds of consumption, and be glad of the chance. Now tell me, why is it
that a conscience can't haul a man over the coals once, for an offense,
and then let him alone? Why is it that it wants to keep on pegging at
him, day and night and night and day, week in and week out, forever and
ever, about the same old thing? There is no sense in that, and no reason
in it. I think a conscience that will act like that is meaner than the
very dirt itself."

"Well, WE like it; that suffices."

"Do you do it with the honest intent to improve a man?"

That question produced a sarcastic smile, and this reply:

"No, sir. Excuse me. We do it simply because it is 'business.' It is
our trade. The purpose of it is to improve the man, but we are merely
disinterested agents. We are appointed by authority, and haven't
anything to say in the matter. We obey orders and leave the consequences
where they belong. But I am willing to admit this much: we do crowd the
orders a trifle when we get a chance, which is most of the time.
We enjoy it. We are instructed to remind a man a few times of an error;
and I don't mind acknowledging that we try to give pretty good measure.
And when we get hold of a man of a peculiarly sensitive nature, oh, but
we do haze him! I have consciences to come all the way from China and
Russia to see a person of that kind put through his paces, on a special
occasion. Why, I knew a man of that sort who had accidentally crippled a
mulatto baby; the news went abroad, and I wish you may never commit
another sin if the consciences didn't flock from all over the earth to
enjoy the fun and help his master exorcise him. That man walked the
floor in torture for forty-eight hours, without eating or sleeping, and
then blew his brains out. The child was perfectly well again in three
weeks."

"Well, you are a precious crew, not to put it too strong. I think I
begin to see now why you have always been a trifle inconsistent with me.
In your anxiety to get all the juice you can out of a sin, you make a man
repent of it in three or four different ways. For instance, you found
fault with me for lying to that tramp, and I suffered over that. But it
was only yesterday that I told a tramp the square truth, to wit, that,
it bei