inds
of graft on the same level, he'll make the fatal mistake that Steffens
made and spoil his book.

A big city like New York or Philadelphia or Chicago might be compared
to a sort of Garden of Eden, from a political point of view. It's an
orchard full of beautiful apple trees. One of them has got a big sign
on it, marked: "Penal Code Tree--Poison." The other trees have lots of
apples on them for all. Yet the fools go to the Penal Code Tree. Why?
For the reason, I guess, that a cranky child refuses to eat good food
and chews up a box of matches with relish. I never had any temptation to
touch the Penal Code Tree. The other apples are good enough for me, and
0 Lord! how many of them there are in a big city!

Steffens made one good point in his book. He said he found that
Philadelphia, ruled almost entirely by Americans, was more corrupt than
New York, where the Irish do almost all the governin'. I could have told
him that before he did any investigatin' if he had come to me. The Irish
was born to rule, and they're the honestest people in the world. Show me
the Irishman who would steal a roof off an almhouse! He don't exist.
Of course, if an Irishman had the political pull and the roof was much
worn, he might get the city authorities to put on a new one and get the
contract for it himself, and buy the old roof at a bargain--but that's
honest graft. It's goin' about the thing like a gentleman, and there's
more money in it than in tearin' down an old roof and cartin' it to the
junkman's--more money and no penal code.

One reason why the Irishman is more honest in politics than many Sons of
the Revolution is that he is grateful to the country and the city that
gave him protection and prosperity when he was driven by oppression from
the Emerald Isle. Say, that sentence is fine, ain't it? I'm goin' to get
some literary feller to work it over into poetry for next St. Patrick's
Day dinner.

Yes, the Irishman is grateful. His one thought is to serve the city
which gave him a home. He has this thought even before he lands in New
York, for his friends here often have a good place in one of the city
departments picked out for him while he is still in the old country. Is
it any wonder that he has a tender spot in his heart for old New York
when he is on its salary list the mornin' after he lands?

Now, a few words on the general subject of the so called shame of
cities. I don't believe that the government of our cities is any w