worse than other people? Everybody lives, whirls, hustles
about, has his own point. While I am weary. Everybody is satisfied with
himself. And as to their complaining, they lie, the rascals! They are
simply pretending for beauty's sake. I have no reason to pretend. I am
a fool. I don't understand anything, my dear fellow. I simply wish to
live! I am unable to think. I feel disgusted; one says this, another
that! Pshaw! But she, eh! If you knew. My hope was in her. I expected of
her--just what I expected, I cannot tell; but she is the best of women!
And I had so much faith in her--when sometimes she spoke such peculiar
words, all her own. Her eyes, my dear boy, are so beautiful! Oh Lord! I
was ashamed to look upon them, and as I am telling you, she would say a
few words, and everything would become clear to me. For I did not come
to her with love alone--I came to her with all my soul! I sought--I
thought that since she was so beautiful, consequently, I might become a
man by her side!"

Ookhtishchev listened to the painful, unconnected words that burst from
his companion's lips. He saw how the muscles of his face contracted with
the effort to express his thoughts, and he felt that behind this bombast
there was a great, serious grief. There was something intensely pathetic
in the powerlessness of this strong and savage youth, who suddenly
started to pace the sidewalk with big, uneven steps. Skipping along
after him with his short legs, Ookhtishchev felt it his duty somehow to
calm Foma. Everything Foma had said and done that evening awakened in
the jolly secretary a feeling of lively curiosity toward Foma, and
then he felt flattered by the frankness of the young millionaire. This
frankness confused him with its dark power; he was disconcerted by its
pressure, and though, in spite of his youth, he had a stock of words
ready for all occasions in life, it took him quite awhile to recall
them.

"I feel that everything is dark and narrow about me," said Gordyeeff. "I
feel that a burden is falling on my shoulders, but what it is I cannot
understand! It puts a restraint on me, and it checks the freedom of my
movements along the road of life. Listening to people, you hear that
each says a different thing. But she could have said--"

"Eh, my dear boy!" Ookhtishchev interrupted Foma, gently taking his arm.
"That isn't right! You have just started to live and already you are
philosophizing! No, that is not right! Life is given us