d woman he knew. Then they all gave him pills to upset his
stomach; but such was its power that it assimilated them. Despairing of
these, he consulted a Quack, and received the directions which brought
him to Springhaven. And a lucky day for him it was, as he confessed for
the rest of his life, whenever any ladies asked him.

Because Miss Twemlow was intended for him by the nicest adjustment of
nature. How can two round things fit together, except superficially?
And in that case one must be upper and the other under; which is not the
proper thing in matrimony, though generally the prevailing one. But take
a full-moon and a half-moon, or even a square and a tidy triangle--with
manners enough to have one right angle--and when you have put them into
one another's arms, there they stick, all the firmer for friction. Jack
Spratt and his wife are a case in point; and how much more pointed the
case becomes when the question is not about what is on the plate, but
the gentleman is in his own body fat, and the lady in her elegant person
lean!

Mr. Sugarloaf--which he could not bear to be called--being an ardent
admirer of the Church, and aware that her ministers know what is good,
returned with great speed the Rector's call, having earnest hopes of
some heart-felt words upon the difference between a right and
left handed sole. One of these is ever so much better than the
other--according to our evolutionists, because when he was a cod, a few
milliards of years back, he chose the right side to begin lying down on,
that his descendants in the thirty-millionth generation might get flat.
His wife, from sheer perversity, lay down upon the other side, and this
explains how some of their descendants pulled their eyes through their
heads to one side, and some (though comparatively few) to the other. And
the worst of it is that the fittest for the frying-pan did not survive
this well-intended involution, except at a very long figure in the
market.

As it fell out upon that day, Miss Twemlow was sitting in the
drawing-room alone, waiting till her mother's hair was quite done up,
her own abundant locks being not done up at all, for she had lately
taken to set her face against all foreign fashions. "I have not been
introduced to the King," she said, "nor even to the Queen, like those
forward Darlings, and I shall do my hair to please myself." When her
father objected, she quenched him with St. Paul; and even her mother,
though shocked, be