n historikal and etimolojikal _souvenirs_ wud be litel agenst
the hapines ov milionz ov children, and the stil heier hapines ov milionz
ov I[n]glishmen and I[n]glisewimen, gr[o]i[n] [u]p az the [e]rz tu [w]l
the wel[t] and stre[n][t] ov I[n]glish literatiur, or [u]n[e]bel tu r[i]d
[i]ven th[e]r Beibel. H[i]r it iz hwer ei ventiur tu difer from the
Archbishop, not az b[i]i[n] sa[n]gwin az tu eni imm[i]diet s[u]kses, b[u]t
simpli az f[i]li[n] it a diuti tu help in a k[w]z hwich at prezent iz
m[o]st [u]npopiular. The [i]vil d[e] m[e] b[i] put of for a lo[n] teim,
partikiularli if the w[e]t ov s[u]ch men az Archbishop Trench iz [t]ren
intu the [u]ther sk[e]l. B[u]t [u]nles la[n]gwe[i] s[i]sez tu b[i]
la[n]gwe[i], and reiti[n] s[i]sez tu b[i] reiti[n], the d[e] wil sh[ue]rli
k[u]m hwen p[i]s wil hav tu b[i] m[e]d betw[i]n the t[ue]. Jermani haz
apointed a G[u]vernment Komishon tu konsider hwot iz tu b[i] d[u]n with
Jerman speli[n] In Amerika, t[ue], s[u]m l[i]di[n] st[e]tsmen s[i]m
inkleind tu t[e]k [u]p the reform ov speli[n] on nashonal groundz. Iz ther
n[o] st[e]tsman in I[n]gland s[u]fishentli pr[ue]f agenst ridikiul tu
k[w]l the atenshon ov Parliment tu hwot iz a gr[o]i[n] misfortiun?

M[u]ch, houever, az ei difer from the Archbishop on th[i]z groundz, ei
kanot b[u]t deprek[e]t the t[o]n in hwich hiz pouerful opozishon haz b[i]n
met bei meni ov the [u]ph[o]lderz ov f[o]netik speli[n]. N[e], ei m[u]st
g[o] stil f[u]rther, and fra[n]kli konfes that tu w[u]n ov hiz argiuments
ei feind it difik[u]lt, at prezent, tu giv a satisfaktori anser.

"It iz a m[i]r as[u]mpshon," the Archbishop remarks, "that [w]l men
pronouns [w]l w[u]rdz aleik; or that hwenever th[e] k[u]m tu spel a w[u]rd
th[e] wil ekzaktli agr[i] az tu hwot the outlein ov its sound iz. Nou w[i]
ar sh[ue]r men wil not d[ue] this, from the fakt that, bef[o]r ther woz
eni fikst and seteld or[t]ografi in our la[n]gwej, hwen, th[e]rfor,
everibodi woz m[o]r or les a a f[o]nografer, s[i]ki[n] tu reit doun the
w[u]rd az it sounded tu _him_,--for h[i] had n[o] [u]ther l[w] tu geid
him,--the v[e]ri[e]shonz ov speli[n] ar infinit. T[e]k, for instans, the
w[u]rd _sudden_, hwich d[u]z not s[i]m tu promis eni gr[e]t sk[o]p for
vareieti. Ei hav meiself met with this w[u]rd speld in n[o] les than
f[o]rt[i]n w[e]z am[u][n] our erli reiterz. Agen, in hou meni w[e]z woz
Raleigh'z n[e]m speld, or Shakspere'z? The s[e]m iz evident from the
speli[n] ov [u]nediukated personz in our [o]n