gambling. But
these things covered many a sick heart, and there were times when the
heart-sickness prevailed over all else, and we lay in corners apart, and
loathed our fellows and wished we were dead.

I say we, but, in truth, in these, and all other matters, except the
regular routine of living, I was for a considerable time kept apart from my
fellows by the deafness brought on by the explosion. I lived in a little
soundless world of my own with those dearest to me,--Carette, and my
mother, and my grandfather, and Krok, and Jeanne Falla, and George Hamon.
And if I needed further company, I could people the grim stockade with old
friends out of those four most wonderful books of my grandfather's. And
very grateful was I now for the insistence which had made me read them
times without number, and for the scarcity which had limited me to them
till I knew parts of them almost by heart.

Outwardly, indeed, I might seem loneliest of the company, for cards and
dice had never greatly attracted me, and to risk upon a turn of the one or
a throw of the other the absolute necessaries of life, which were the only
things of value we possessed as a rule, seemed to me most incredible folly.
Possibly the personal value of the stakes added zest to the game, for they
wrangled bitterly at times, and more than once fought to the death over the
proper ownership of articles which would have been dearly bought for an
English shilling. But the loss of even these trifling things, since they
meant starvation, inside or out, made all the difference in the world to
the losers, and cut them to the quick, and led to hot disputations.

And, though I strove to maintain a cheerful demeanour, which was not always
easy when the wind blew from the east, my deafness relieved me of any
necessity of joining in that mask of merriment, which, as I have said, as
often as not covered very sick hearts. For though a merry face is better
than a sad one, I take it to be the part of an honest man to bear himself
simply as he is, and the honest sad faces drew me more than the merry
masked ones through which the bones of our skeletons peeped grisly enough
at times.

Thoughts of escape occupied some of us, but for most it was out of the
question. For, even if they could have got out of the enclosure and passed
the sentries, their foreign speech and faces must have betrayed them at
once outside.

To myself, however, that did not so fully apply. In appearance I migh