searching. Do you find in another,
one to whose well-being you can devote your life; one to whom you can
confide the deepest interests of your mind and heart; one whose
principles and purposes you can appreciate and respect: one in whose
image you wish your children to be born, and on the model of whose
character you wish their characters to be formed; one whose love will be
the best part of whatever prosperity, and the sufficient shield against
whatever adversity may be your common lot? Then, provided this other
soul sees a like worth in you, and cherishes a like devotion for what
you are and aim to be, marriage is not merely a duty: it is the open
door into the purest and noblest life possible to man and woman.
Complete identification and devotion, entire surrender of each to each
in mutual affection is the condition of true marriage. As "John
Halifax" says in refusing the hand of a nobleman for his daughter, "In
marriage there must be unity--one aim, one faith, one love--or the
marriage is imperfect, unholy, a mere civil contract, and no more." This
necessity of complete, undivided devotion of each to each is, as Hegel
points out, the spiritual necessity on which monogamy rests. There can
be but one complete and perfect and supreme merging of one's whole self
in the life and love of another. Marriage with two would be of necessity
marriage with none. If we apprehend the spiritual essence of marriage we
see that marriage with more than one is a contradiction in terms. It is
possible to cut one's self up into fragments, and bestow a part here and
a part there; but that is not marriage; it is mere alliance. It brings
not love and joy and peace, but hate and wretchedness and strife.

+A true marriage never can be dissolved.+--If love be present at the
beginning it will grow stronger and richer with every added year of
wedded life. How far a loveless marriage should be enforced upon
unwilling parties by the state for the benefit of society is a question
which it is foreign to our present purpose to discuss. The duty of the
individual who finds himself or herself in this dreadful condition is,
however, clear. There is generally a good deal of self-seeking on both
sides at the basis of such marriages. Getting rather than giving was the
real though often unsuspected hope that brought them together. If either
husband or wife will resolutely strive to correct the fault that is in
him or her, ceasing to demand and beginning to g