ciation of
friendship cannot fail to give the friend an opportunity to perceive the
deep secrets of the other's heart which he would not speak even to a
friend, and which he has scarcely dared to acknowledge even to himself.

This intimate knowledge of another appeals strangely to our vanity and
pride; and we are often tempted to show it off by disclosing some of
these secrets which have been revealed to us in the confidence of
friendship. This is the meanest thing one person can do to another. The
person who yields to this basest of temptations is utterly unworthy ever
again to have a friend. Betrayal of friends is the unpardonable social
sin.

THE VICE OF DEFECT.

+We cannot find people who in every respect are exactly to our
liking.+--And, what is more to the point, we never can make ourselves
exactly what we should like to have other people intimately know and
understand. Friendship calls for courage enough to show ourselves in
spite of our frailties and imperfections; and to take others in spite of
the possible shortcomings which close acquaintance may reveal in them.
Friendship requires a readiness to give and take, for better or for
worse; and that exclusiveness which shrinks from the risks involved is
simply a combination of selfishness and cowardice. Refusal to make
friends is a sure sign that a man either is ashamed of himself, or else
lacks faith in his fellow-men. And these two states of mind are not so
different as they might at first appear. For we judge others chiefly by
ourselves. And the man who distrusts his fellow-men, generally bases his
distrust of them on the consciousness that he himself is not worthy of
the trust of others. So that the real root of exclusiveness is the dread
of letting other people get near to us, for fear of what they might
discover. Exclusiveness puts on the airs of pride. But pride is only a
game of bluff, by which a man who is ashamed to have other people get
near enough to see him as he is pretends that he is terribly afraid of
getting near enough to others to see what they are.

THE VICE OF EXCESS.

+Effusiveness.+--Some people can keep nothing to themselves. As soon as
they get an experience, or feel an emotion, or have an ache or pain,
they must straightway run and pour it into the ear of some sympathetic
listener. The result is that experiences do not gain sufficient hold
upon the nature to make any deep and lasting impression. No
independence, no self-reliance