the mental humiliation that is
daily experienced by the warthog and the mandrill. And even the nobler
animals--the lions and bears--are not allowed to escape without
prejudicial comment, especially at feeding-time. Not the slightest
deference is paid to the private opinions and sentiments of these
carnivores by the vulgar crowd of sight-seers. The parrots alone can
ease their harassed souls and have the last word with the passer-by.

Meanwhile, we have to apologise to our cat for having recently upbraided
him rather too freely for his nocturnal habits and general lack of
discipline, not having considered the shock of such language to his
sensitive mind.

ZIG-ZAG.

* * * * *

"Young lady requires secretarial work of any kind, good writer
and correspondent, accustomed to literary work, or would write
up Parish fashions."--_Daily Mail._

Smocks are no longer being worn. Sun-bonnets may be expected in a few
months.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Lady_ (_in small Irish hotel_). "Waiter, take away that
bottle and put some clean water in it."

_Waiter._ "Faith, Mum, the wather's all right; 'tis the bottle that's
dirty."]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)

"Anyhow, I can remember this Court and can tell a tale it plays a part
in, only not very quick." Thus Mr. WILLIAM DE MORGAN, introductory, on
the fourth page of his latest novel, When _Ghost meets Ghost_
(HEINEMANN). Before it ends there have been as near nine hundred pages
of it as makes no difference; and the things that the author remembers
in the course of the tale, and the not-very-quickness with which he
tells it, must be seen to be believed. The main outline of this more
than leisurely plot is concerned with the coming together of two aged
twin sisters, each of whom has been living for years in ignorance of the
other's existence, so that they meet at last almost as ghosts. Hence the
title. But you will not need to be told that there is ever so much more
in the nine hundred pages than this. There are the children _Dave and
Dolly_, for example; likewise _Uncle Mo'_, and any quantity of humble
London types; not to mention the group that includes _Lady Gwen_, and
_Adrian Torrens_, and a score of others, all drawn with that verbal
Pre-Raphaelitism in which the author takes such obvious delight. For
myself I must ho