of it. Well,
Mr Heaviside, as I was saying, although not so good--looking as her
sister, Mr Revel, who is a good judge in these matters, declared that
by the theatre lights Charlotte would be reckoned a very fine woman. We
proposed it to her, and, after a little pouting, she consented; the only
difficulty was, whether she should attempt tragedy or comedy. Her
features were considered rather too sharp for comedy, and her figure not
quite tall enough for tragedy. She herself preferred tragedy, which
decided the point; and Mr Revel, who knows all the actors, persuaded
Mr Y--- (you know whom I mean, the great tragic actor) to come here,
and give his opinion of her recitation. Mr Y--- was excessively
polite; declared that she was a young lady of great talent; but that a
slight lisp, which she has, unfitted her most decidedly for tragedy. Of
course it was abandoned for comedy, which she studied some time; and
when we considered her competent, Mr Revel had interest enough to
induce the great Mr M--- to come and give his opinion. Charlotte
performed her part as I thought remarkably well, and when she had
finished she left the room, that Mr M--- might not be checked by her
presence from giving me his unbiassed opinion."

"Which was favourable, ma'am, I presume; for, if not fitted for the one,
she naturally must have been fit for the other."

"So I thought," replied the lady, to this polite _non sequitur_ of the
gentleman. "But Mr M--- is a very odd man, and, if I must say it, not
very polite. What do you think, Mr Heaviside, as soon as she left the
room he rose from his chair, and, twisting up the corner of his mouth,
as he looked me in the face, he said, `Madam, it is my opinion that your
daughter's comedy, whenever she makes her appearance on the boards,
will, to use a Yankee expression, _be most particularly damned_! I wish
you a very good morning.'"

"Very rude indeed, madam; most excessively unpolite of Mr M---. I
should not have thought it possible."

"Well, Mr Heaviside, as for Laura; poor thing! you are aware that she
is not quite so clever as she might be; she never had any memory: when a
child, she never could recollect the evening hymn if she missed it two
nights running; so that acting was out of the question with her. So
that all my hopes of their forming a splendid establishment by that
channel have vanished. Now, my dear Mr Heaviside, what would you
propose?"

"Why, really, ma'am, it is so diff