ad no property: no one took
the trouble to go to law with me; for if they gained their cause there
were no effects. Within the last six years I have inherited a
considerable property, and am always in hot water. I heard that the
lawyers say, `causes produce effects.' I am sure I can say that
`effects have produced causes!'"

"I am sorry that your good fortune should be coupled with such a
drawback."

"Oh, it's nothing! It's just to a man what a clog is to a horse in a
field, you know pretty well where to find him. I'm so used to it--
indeed so much so, that I should feel rather uncomfortable if I had
nothing on my hands: just keeps me from being idle. I've been into
every court in the metropolis, and have no fault to find with one of
them, except the Court of Rights."

"And pray, sir, what is that Court, and the objection you have to it?"

"Why, as to the Court, it's the most confounded rascal; but I must be
careful how I speak before strangers, you'll excuse me, sir (not that I
suspect you, but I know what may be considered as a libel). I shall
therefore just state, that it is a court at which no gentleman can
appear; and if he does, it's of no use, for he'll never get a verdict in
his favour."

"What, then it is not a court of justice?"

"Court of justice! no, it's a court for the recovery of small debts: but
I'll just tell you, sir, exactly what took place with me in that court,
and then you will be able to judge for yourself. I had a dog; sir, it
was just after I came into my property; his name was Caesar, and a very
good dog he was. Well, sir, riding out one day about four miles from
town, a rabbit put his nose out of a cellar, where they retailed
potatoes. Caesar pounced upon him, and the rabbit was dead in a moment.
The man who owned the rabbit and the potatoes, came up to me and asked
my name, which I told him; at the same time, I expressed my sorrow at
the accident, and advised him in future to keep his rabbits in hutches.
He said he would, and demanded three shillings and sixpence for the one
which the dog had killed. Now, although he was welcome to advice, money
was quite another thing; so he went one way, muttering something about
law, and I another, with Caesar at my heels, taking no notice of his
threat. Well, sir, in a few days my servant came up to say that
somebody wished to see me upon _particular_ business, and I ordered him
to be shown up. It was a blackguard-looking fellow, who p