refooted soldier had managed to get home and secure a pair of boots.
He started back to his regiment hurrying to be on time for the fight.
The new boots hurt him so terribly he couldn't wear them. He passed
Ned's regiment with his precious footgear hanging on his arm.

"Hello, Sonny, what command?" Ned cried.

"Company E, 12th Virginia, Mahone's brigade!" he proudly answered.

"Yes, damn you," a soldier drawled from the grass, "and you've pulled
your boots off, holdin' 'em in yer hand, ready to run now!"

The laugh ran along the line and the boy hurried on to escape the chaff.

A well-known chaplain rode along a narrow path on the hillside. He was
mounted on an old horse whose hip bones protruded like two deadly fangs.
A footsore Confederate was hobbling as fast as he could in front of him,
glancing back over his shoulder now and then uneasily.

"You needn't be afraid, my friend," the parson called, "I'm not going to
run over you."

"I know you ain't," the soldier laughed, "but ef I wuz ter let you pass
me, and that thing wuz ter wobble I'll be doggoned ef I wouldn't be
gored ter death!"

The preacher reined his steed in with dignity and spoke with wounded
pride:

"My friend, this is a better horse than our Lord rode into Jerusalem
on!"

The soldier stepped up quickly, opened the animal's mouth and grinned:

"Parson, that's the very same horse!"

A shout rose from the hill in which the preacher joined.

"Dod bam it, did ye ever hear the beat o' that!" shouted a pious fellow
who was inventing cuss words that would pass the charge of profanity.

A distinguished citizen of Fredericksburg passed along the lines wearing
a tall new silk hat. He didn't get very far before he changed his line
of march. A regular fusillade poured on him from the ranks.

"Say, man, is dat a hat er a bee gum?"

"Come down now!"

"Come down outen that hat an' help us with these Yanks!"

"Come down I say--I know you're up there for I can see your legs!"

When the silk hat vanished, a solemn country boy with slight knowledge
of books began to discuss the great mysteries of eternity.

Ned had won his unbounded faith and admiration by spelling at the
first trial the name of his native village in the Valley of
Virginia--McGaheysville. Tom held this fact to be a marvellous
intellectual achievement.

"What I want to know, Ned, is this," he drawled, "who started sin in
this world, anyhow? What makes a good thing good and what makes