but this was Emily's night out; and besides, in
matters of this kind she would be worse than useless. "What I need is a
woman who knows this town--and all its ways--and what to do!" As the
evening drew on and still Joe did not come, again and again she felt
ready to scream. And though she savagely held herself in, each time was
harder than the last.

"Something has simply got to be done!" she told herself after one
outbreak like that. Then all at once came the recollection of young
Mrs. Grewe downstairs. "I must have some one or I'll go mad!" And she
hurried to the telephone. But in the hall she stopped and frowned.
"No, I won't call her up," she thought. "That inquisitive telephone
girl downstairs would begin to gossip about it at once." For the same
reason Ethel did not take the elevator. She ran quickly down two
flights and rang at Mrs. Grewe's door. There was silence. She waited
some moments, then rang again. "Oh, she's out--I know she is!" The
thought brought a sickening empty feeling. She would have to face this
night alone!

But abruptly the door opened, and a sleepy startled maid looked at her
in dull surprise.

"Is she out tonight? Is Mrs. Grewe out?" Ethel asked impatiently.

"Yes--she's out," the girl replied.

But glancing behind her Ethel saw a high hat and an overcoat on a chair,
and with a quick little "Oh!" of dismay, she turned and hurried away
down the hall. She heard the maid's chuckle behind her. "Oh-h!" She
could feel her cheeks burning. And when she got back to her bedroom
upstairs, out of the shame and humility rose a fierce anger which downed
all her fears at the thought of this night or of anything else. "I'll
never be like her!" she exclaimed. "There'll never be a high hat in my
hall at this time of night--nor a Boston old maid--nor a snickering
telephone girl downstairs! Never! I'll make myself ugly first! For
I'm not like you, I'm not like you! I've had a child, to begin
with--and I'm going to keep him, he's mine!"

There came again a period of swift determined thinking. And at last
with a quick thrill of relief she remembered Mrs. Crothers was coming
with Dwight to call the next day. Sally Crothers--Joe's old friend!
"If she believed in me--really believed in all that I was trying to
do--she could give me just the advice I need! It may be I'm just
silly--and she could give me her common sense! She might even talk to
Joe herself--and make him realize my whole plan! If only I can get h