"Of course! We must! I want to, dear!" Ethel's voice was shaking.

"Not now." With an effort he rose. "There's something else to worry
about. You don't quite know me yet, you see."

"What do you mean?" She had risen, too, and caught his arm. "You're not
well, Joe! You're white as a sheet!" He laughed a little.

"I'm not quite right. Something wrong in here, I guess." He pressed one
hand to the base of his brain and scowled as though it hurt him.
"Nothing serious, probably. But before it goes too far, I want you to
know that when I get well I'm going to have a try at all that--the work
you spoke of. I'm going to try--_but I may be too late! I may be older
than you think!_" The tone of his voice was sharp and strained. "I
don't know," he said. "The doctor may. About him--that's another
point! It's a nerve specialist we need! Telephone your doctor and have
him send one here tonight! I'm sorry, Ethel--damnably!"

CHAPTER XXVII

She got him to bed. The specialist came, and when he had examined Joe he
had a talk with Ethel that left her very frightened. After that came
days and nights, when Joe, as, though in delirium, said things in a
jumble which revealed to her the inner chaos he had gone through in the
last few weeks. He talked of Amy loyally, even pleading for her at
times, excusing her. And he talked of Ethel in many moods. Now he was
angry at her interference; again he saw her side of it, and then his
love for her would rise. More often still, he talked about work, and
here again the struggle went on. Money, money, money--figures,
calculations, schemes and rivals, heavy chances. But suddenly all this
was gone, and in a pitiful anger at his own futility he would storm at
himself for not being able to put on paper his early dreams.

But the weeks dragged by, and at last she felt he was coming back to
sanity. With his partner, then, she conspired to take Joe over to Paris
in April, to stay for a year if he would agree. And as part of the
conspiracy, Ethel had several meetings with Nourse and Sally Crothers,
in the hope of bringing Sally's husband into the firm to be there in
Joe's absence. This was far from easy, for Crothers naturally held
back; he did not care to commit himself until he knew that Joe would
agree. And whether Joe would agree or not was by no means certain.
Watching him as his health came back, Ethel wondered how he would be
when he returned to the office. How much of what he had said to her,