FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   150   151   152   153   154   155   156   157   158   159   160   161   162   163   164   165   166   167   168   169   170   171   172   173   174  
175   176   177   178   179   180   181   182   183   184   185   186   187   188   189   190   191   192   193   >>  
, unable to control him!" "The Reverend Manetho Glyphie, my cousin by adoption,--and sometimes a devil!" muttered Balder, musingly. "I had forgotten him." People are more prone to err in fancying themselves righteous, than the reverse; nevertheless, the course and limits of self-deception are indefinite. It is within possibility for a man to believe himself wicked, while his actual conduct is ridiculously blameless, even praiseworthy! Although intending to mislead Balder, Manetho's utterances were true to a degree unsuspected by himself. He was more true than had he tried to be so, because truth lay too profound for his recognition! "A shallower man," he resumed, "would bear a grudge against the hand that clutched his throat; but I own no relationship to the madman you chastised. And there are deep reasons why I must set your father's son above all other men in my regard." "My father seldom spoke of you, and never as of an especial friend," interposed the ingenuous Balder. "He knew not my feeling towards him, nor would he have comprehended it. It is a thing I myself can scarce understand. To the outward eye there is juster cause for hatred than for love. "I will speak openly to you what has hitherto lain between my heart and God. Before Thor saw your mother, I had loved her. My life's hope was to marry her. Thor came,--and my hope lingered and died. For it, was no resurrection." Here Manetho broke all at once into sobs, covering his face with his hands; and when he continued, his voice was softened with tears. "Thor called her to him, and she gladly went. He stormed and carried with ease the fortress which, at best, I could hope only slowly to undermine. She loved him as women love a conqueror; she might have yielded me, at most, the grace of a condescending queen. I kept silence: to whom could I speak? I had felt great ambitions,--to become honored and famous,--to preach the gospel as it had not yet been preached,--all ambitions that a lover may feel. But the tree died for lack of nourishment. See what is left!" He opened out his arms with a gesture wanting neither in pathos nor dignity. Balder could not but sympathize with what he felt to be a genuine emotion. "Amidst the ruins of my Memphis, I kept silence. I hated--myself! for my powerlessness to keep her. In my hours of madness I hated her too, and him; but that was madness indeed! Deeper down was a sanity that loved him. Since he had made my
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   150   151   152   153   154   155   156   157   158   159   160   161   162   163   164   165   166   167   168   169   170   171   172   173   174  
175   176   177   178   179   180   181   182   183   184   185   186   187   188   189   190   191   192   193   >>  



Top keywords:
Balder
 

Manetho

 

silence

 
ambitions
 
father
 
madness
 

covering

 

Memphis

 

genuine

 

emotion


gladly
 
sympathize
 

called

 

continued

 

softened

 

Amidst

 

sanity

 

Deeper

 

mother

 

Before


dignity
 

resurrection

 

lingered

 
powerlessness
 

carried

 
nourishment
 
opened
 

honored

 

preached

 

gospel


famous

 

preach

 
condescending
 
wanting
 

slowly

 
pathos
 

fortress

 

gesture

 

undermine

 

yielded


conqueror

 

stormed

 
blameless
 

ridiculously

 
praiseworthy
 
Although
 

conduct

 

actual

 
possibility
 

wicked