e
top, and pork at the bottom," the host observes to the waiter in
passing, "and mind, put the joints before the women--they are slow
carvers."

While the foregoing scene was enacting outside, our travellers had been
driven through the passage into a little, dark, dingy room at the back
of the house, with a dirty, rain-bespattered window, looking against a
whitewashed blank wall. The table, which was covered with a thrice-used
cloth, was set out with lumps of bread, knives, and two and three
pronged forks laid alternately. Altogether it was anything but inviting,
but coach passengers are very complacent; and on the Dover road it
matters little if they are not. The bustle of preparation was soon over.
Coats No. 1, No. 2, and No. 3, are taken off in succession, for some
people wear top-coats to keep out the "heat"; chins are released from
their silken jeopardy, hats are hid in corners, and fur caps thrust
into pockets of the owners. Inside passengers eye outside ones with
suspicion, while a deaf gentleman, who has left his trumpet in the
coach, meets an acquaintance whom he has not seen for seven years,
and can only shake hands and grin to the movements of the lips of the
speaker. "You find it very warm inside, I should think, sir?" "Thank
ye, thank ye, my good friend; I'm rayther deaf, but I presume you're
inquiring after my wife and daughters--they are very well, I thank ye."
"Where will you sit at dinner?" rejoins the first speaker, in hopes of a
more successful hit. "It is two years since I saw him." "No; where
will you sit, sir? I said." "Oh, John? I beg your pardon--I'm rayther
deaf--he's in Jamaica with his regiment." "Come, waiter, BRING DINNER!"
roared Mr. Jorrocks, at the top of his voice, being the identical shout
that was heard outside, and presently the two dishes of pork, a couple
of ducks, and a lump of half-raw, sadly mangled, cold roast beef, with
waxy potatoes and overgrown cabbages, were scattered along the table.
"What a beastly dinner!" exclaims an inside dandy, in a sable-collared
frock-coat--"the whole place reeks with onions and vulgarity. Waiter,
bring me a silver fork!" "Allow me to duck you, ma'am?" inquires an
outside passenger, in a facetious tone, of a female in a green silk
cloak, as he turns the duck over in the dish. "Thank you, sir, but I've
some pork coming." "Will you take some of this thingumbob?" turning a
questionable-looking pig's countenance over in its pewter bed. "You are
in con