FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   227   228   229   230   231   232   233   234   235   236   237   238   239   240   241   242   243   244   245   246   247   248   249   250   251  
252   253   254   255   256   257   258   259   260   261   262   263   264   265   266   267   268   269   270   271   272   273   274   275   276   >>   >|  
hed his mere natural impulse. Marriage, he told himself, would mean a son of his own, and the stability which he had always missed in any relation with a woman would be secured through the responsibility which fatherhood involved. Here was the interest his life had lacked, after all--here was the explanation of that vacancy his emotions had not filled; and it appeared to him that his loves had failed in definiteness, in any vital purpose, because he had never seen himself fulfilled in the son which he now desired. "I shouldn't wonder if this is what I've been wanting all the time," he thought; and the generous fervour, the ideal purity, he had never been able to introduce into his romances, gathered luminously about the cradle of his unborn child. It seemed to him, as he smoked his second cigar in the face of this paternal vision, that he had stumbled by accident upon the one secret of happiness which he had overlooked; and it was while the beaming effulgence of this mood still lasted, that he finished his papers, and determined to look in upon Laura on his way down town. The memory of last evening was placed at the distance of a thousand miles by his sudden change of humour, and it seemed as useless to reproach himself for an act so far beyond his present area of personality as it would have been to moralise upon an indiscretion in ancient history. A little later, as he ascended Laura's steps, he felt serenely assured that he had made the best possible disposition of his future. To his surprise she was not in her sitting-room when he entered, and it was several minutes before she came in, very quietly and with an averted face. When he would have taken her in his arms, she drew back quickly with an indignant and wounded gesture. Her eyes were burning, but he had never heard her speak in so hard a voice. "You were in town last night," she said, and by her look more than her words he was brought face to face with the suspicion that she was capable of a jealous outburst. "I wanted to come, but I couldn't," he answered, with an attempt at his quizzical humour. "I rushed here as soon as I dared this morning--isn't that enough to prove something?" Again he made a movement to take her in his arms, but her face was so unyielding that his hands, which he had outstretched, fell to his sides. From the look in her eyes he could almost believe that she had grown to hate him in the night; and at the thought his earlier impe
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   227   228   229   230   231   232   233   234   235   236   237   238   239   240   241   242   243   244   245   246   247   248   249   250   251  
252   253   254   255   256   257   258   259   260   261   262   263   264   265   266   267   268   269   270   271   272   273   274   275   276   >>   >|  



Top keywords:

thought

 

humour

 
sitting
 

earlier

 
entered
 

minutes

 

serenely

 
indiscretion
 

moralise

 

ancient


history

 

personality

 

present

 
disposition
 

future

 

assured

 
quietly
 

ascended

 

surprise

 

gesture


rushed
 

quizzical

 
morning
 
attempt
 

wanted

 
couldn
 

answered

 

outstretched

 

unyielding

 

movement


outburst

 

jealous

 

wounded

 
burning
 

indignant

 

quickly

 

brought

 

suspicion

 

capable

 

averted


definiteness

 

purpose

 
failed
 

vacancy

 

emotions

 

filled

 

appeared

 

fulfilled

 

wanting

 
generous