subtle jest, a paradox, or an atrocious violation of etiquette.

* * * * *

All cranks, all reformers, and most artists are sulphitic. The insane
asylums are full of Sulphites. They not only do ordinary things in
unusual ways, but they do unusual things in ordinary ways. What is more
intensely sulphitic than, when you have said your farewells, to go
immediately? Or, as you swim out to rescue a drowning girl, to keep
your pipe burning, all the while? They do not attempt to "entertain"
you, but let you choose your own pastime. When they present a gift, it
has either rhyme or reason to it. Their letters are not passed about to
be read by the family.

* * * * *

Hamlet was a Sulphite; Polonius a Bromide. Becky Sharp was sulphitic;
Amelia Sedley bromidic. So we might follow the line of cleavage between
the two groups in Art, Religion and Politics. Compare, for instance,
President Roosevelt with his predecessor in office--the Unexpected
versus the sedate Thermometer of Public Opinion. Compare Bernard Shaw
with Marie Corelli--one would swear that their very brains were
differently colored! Their epigrams and platitudes are merely the
symptoms of different methods of thought. One need not consult one's
prejudice, affection or taste--the Sulphitic Theory explains without
either condemning or approving. The leopard cannot change his spots.

* * * * *

But if, along with these contrasts, we take, for example, Lewis Carroll
as opposed to Dr. Johnson, we are brought up against an extraordinary
inconsistency. It is, however, only an apparent paradox--beneath it
lies a vital principle. Dr. Johnson was, himself, a Sulphite of the
Sulphites, but how intensely bromidic were his writings! One yawns to
think of them. As for Lewis Carroll, in his classic nonsense, so
sulphitic as often to be accused by Bromides of having a secret
meaning, his private life was that of a Bromide. Read his biography and
learn the terrors of his formal, set entertainments to the little girls
whom he patronized! They knew what to expect of him, and he never,
however agreeably, disappointed them. No, unfortunately a Sulphite does
not always produce sulphitic art. How many writers we know who are more
interesting than their work! How many who are infinitely less so! Your
professional humorist is usually a dull, melancholy fellow in his
private life--and a clergyman m