use, sir?" he asked.

The reverend gentleman nodded.

"I put it to yourself, sir, as a gentleman: how would you have liked
it if another man had come to your house and drunk your beer?"

There was no necessity to give an answer to this question. It answered
itself. The reverend gentleman would not have liked it, and, seeing
this, the accused continued,--

"Well, your honour, this here man comes and takes my beer.

"'Halloa, Jack!' I ses, 'no more o' that.'

"'No,' he says, 'there's no more; it's all gone.'

"'Stop a bit," says I; 'that wun't do, nuther.'

"'That wun't do?' he says. 'Wool that do?' and he ups with the jug and
hits me a smack in the mouth, and down I goes clean on the floor; he
then falls atop of me and right on the pot he held in his hand, which
broke with his fall, bein' a earthenware jug, and cuts his head, and
'Sarve him right,' I hopes your honour'll say; and the proof of which
statement is, sir, that there's the cut o' that jug on his forehead
plainly visible for anybody to see at this present moment. Now, sir,
what next? for there's summat else.

"'Jack,' says I, 'I'll summon you for this assault.'

"'Yes,' he says, 'and so'll I; I'll have ee afore his Worship Mr.
Knox.'

"'Afore his Worship Mr. Knox?' says I. 'And why not afore his Worship
the Rev. Mr. Hull? He's the gentleman for my money--a real gentleman
as'll hear reason, and do justice atween man and man.'

"'What!' says Jack, with an oath that I ain't going to repeat afore a
clergyman--'what!' he says, 'a d--d old dromedary like that!'

"'Dromedary, sir,' meaning your worship! Did anybody ever hear such
wile words against a clergyman, let alone a magistrate, sir? And he
then has the cheek to come here and ask you to believe him. 'Old
dromedary!' says he--' a d--d old dromedary.'"

Mr. Hull, the reverend chairman, was naturally very indignant,
not that he minded on his own account, as he said--that was of no
consequence--but a man who could use such foul language was not to be
believed on his oath. He therefore dismissed the summons, and ordered
the prosecutor to pay the costs.

I think both my father and uncle still nursed the idea that I was to
become the good old-fashioned county attorney, for they perpetually
rang in my ears the praises of "our Bench" and "our chairman," out
Bench being by far the biggest thing in Hertfordshire, except when a
couple of notables came down to contest the heavy-weight championship
or some