Hector; and I can assure
you that if you will only take the trouble always to do the perfectly
correct thing, and to say the perfectly correct thing, you can do just
what you like. An ill-conducted, careless woman gets simply no chance.
An ill-conducted, careless man is never allowed within arm's length of
any woman worth knowing.
HECTOR. I see. You are neither a Bohemian woman nor a Puritan woman. You
are a dangerous woman.
LADY UTTERWORD. On the contrary, I am a safe woman.
HECTOR. You are a most accursedly attractive woman. Mind, I am not
making love to you. I do not like being attracted. But you had better
know how I feel if you are going to stay here.
LADY UTTERWORD. You are an exceedingly clever lady-killer, Hector. And
terribly handsome. I am quite a good player, myself, at that game. Is it
quite understood that we are only playing?
HECTOR. Quite. I am deliberately playing the fool, out of sheer
worthlessness.
LADY UTTERWORD [rising brightly]. Well, you are my brother-in-law,
Hesione asked you to kiss me. [He seizes her in his arms and kisses her
strenuously]. Oh! that was a little more than play, brother-in-law. [She
pushes him suddenly away]. You shall not do that again.
HECTOR. In effect, you got your claws deeper into me than I intended.
MRS HUBHABYE [coming in from the garden]. Don't let me disturb you; I
only want a cap to put on daddiest. The sun is setting; and he'll catch
cold [she makes for the door leading to the hall].
LADY UTTERWORD. Your husband is quite charming, darling. He has actually
condescended to kiss me at last. I shall go into the garden: it's cooler
now [she goes out by the port door].
MRS HUSHABYE. Take care, dear child. I don't believe any man can kiss
Addy without falling in love with her. [She goes into the hall].
HECTOR [striking himself on the chest]. Fool! Goat!
Mrs Hushabye comes back with the captain's cap.
HECTOR. Your sister is an extremely enterprising old girl. Where's Miss
Dunn!
MRS HUSHABYE. Mangan says she has gone up to her room for a nap. Addy
won't let you talk to Ellie: she has marked you for her own.
HECTOR. She has the diabolical family fascination. I began making love
to her automatically. What am I to do? I can't fall in love; and I can't
hurt a woman's feelings by telling her so when she falls in love with
me. And as women are always falling in love with my moustache I get
landed in all sorts of tedious and terrifying flirtations i
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