WORD. You could cut off your moustache: I can't cut off my
nose. I get my whole life messed up with people falling in love with me.
And then Randall says I run after men.

RANDALL. I--

LADY UTTERWORD. Yes you do: you said it just now. Why can't you think
of something else than women? Napoleon was quite right when he said that
women are the occupation of the idle man. Well, if ever there was an
idle man on earth, his name is Randall Utterword.

RANDALL. Ariad--

LADY UTTERWORD [overwhelming him with a torrent of words]. Oh yes you
are: it's no use denying it. What have you ever done? What good are you?
You are as much trouble in the house as a child of three. You couldn't
live without your valet.

RANDALL. This is--

LADY UTTERWORD. Laziness! You are laziness incarnate. You are
selfishness itself. You are the most uninteresting man on earth. You
can't even gossip about anything but yourself and your grievances and
your ailments and the people who have offended you. [Turning to Hector].
Do you know what they call him, Hector?

HECTOR } [speaking { Please don't tell me. RANDALL } together] { I'll
not stand it--

LADY UTTERWORD. Randall the Rotter: that is his name in good society.

RANDALL [shouting]. I'll not bear it, I tell you. Will you listen to me,
you infernal--[he chokes].

LADY UTTERWORD. Well: go on. What were you going to call me? An infernal
what? Which unpleasant animal is it to be this time?

RANDALL [foaming]. There is no animal in the world so hateful as a woman
can be. You are a maddening devil. Hushabye, you will not believe me
when I tell you that I have loved this demon all my life; but God knows
I have paid for it [he sits down in the draughtsman's chair, weeping].

LADY UTTERWORD [standing over him with triumphant contempt]. Cry-baby!

HECTOR [gravely, coming to him]. My friend, the Shotover sisters have
two strange powers over men. They can make them love; and they can make
them cry. Thank your stars that you are not married to one of them.

LADY UTTERWORD [haughtily]. And pray, Hector--

HECTOR [suddenly catching her round the shoulders: swinging her right
round him and away from Randall: and gripping her throat with the other
hand]. Ariadne, if you attempt to start on me, I'll choke you: do you
hear? The cat-and-mouse game with the other sex is a good game; but I
can play your head off at it. [He throws her, not at all gently, into
the big chair, and proceeds, less fiercely but fi