Rhone Valley, which has a comfortable hotel, with a pleasant garden, in
which you sit after dinner and let the mosquitoes eat you.

THE MAN WHO SPEAKS ENGLISH

It was eleven o'clock at night when we reached Sion, a dirty little town
at the end of the Rhone Valley Railway, and got into the omnibus for the
hotel; and it was also dark and rainy. They speak German in this part
of Switzerland, or what is called German. There were two very pleasant
Americans, who spoke American, going on in the diligence at half-past
five in the morning, on their way over the Simplex. One of them was
accustomed to speak good, broad English very distinctly to all races;
and he seemed to expect that he must be understood if he repeated his
observations in a louder tone, as he always did. I think he would force
all this country to speak English in two months. We all desired to
secure places in the diligence, which was likely to be full, as is
usually the case when a railway discharges itself into a postroad.

We were scarcely in the omnibus, when the gentleman said to the
conductor:

"I want two places in the coupe of the diligence in the morning. Can I
have them?"

"Yah" replied the good-natured German, who did n't understand a word.

"Two places, diligence, coupe, morning. Is it full?"

"Yah," replied the accommodating fellow. "Hotel man spik English."

I suggested the banquette as desirable, if it could be obtained, and the
German was equally willing to give it to us. Descending from the omnibus
at the hotel, in a drizzling rain, and amidst a crowd of porters
and postilions and runners, the "man who spoke English" immediately
presented himself; and upon him the American pounced with a torrent of
questions. He was a willing, lively little waiter, with his moony face
on the top of his head; and he jumped round in the rain like a parching
pea, rolling his head about in the funniest manner.

The American steadied the little man by the collar, and began, "I want
to secure two seats in the coupe of the diligence in the morning."

"Yaas," jumping round, and looking from one to another. "Diligence,
coupe, morning."

"I--want--two seats--in--coupe. If I can't get them,
two--in--banquette."

"Yaas banquette, coupe,--yaas, diligence."

"Do you understand? Two seats, diligence, Simplon, morning. Will you get
them?"

"Oh, yaas! morning, diligence. Yaas, sirr."

"Hang the fellow! Where is the office?" And the gentleman left the
s