miliation." Impossible to speak of that again; I had to
struggle desperately on, trying to hope. Oh! if you knew--'

His voice gave way for an instant.

'I don't understand how you could be so thoughtless and heartless. You
knew that I was almost mad with anxiety at times. Surely, any woman must
have had the impulse to give what help was in her power. How could you
hesitate? Had you no suspicion of what a relief and encouragement it
would be to me, if you said: "Yes, we must go and live in a simpler
way?" If only as a proof that you loved me, how I should have welcomed
that! You helped me in nothing. You threw all the responsibility upon
me--always bearing in mind, I suppose, that there was a refuge for you.
Even now, I despise myself for saying such things of you, though I know
so bitterly that they are true. It takes a long time to see you as such
a different woman from the one I worshipped. In passion, I can fling out
violent words, but they don't yet answer to my actual feeling. It will
be long enough yet before I think contemptuously of you. You know that
when a light is suddenly extinguished, the image of it still shows
before your eyes. But at last comes the darkness.'

Amy turned towards him once more.

'Instead of saying all this, you might be proving that I am wrong. Do
so, and I will gladly confess it.'

'That you are wrong? I don't see your meaning.'

'You might prove that you are willing to do your utmost to save me from
humiliation.'

'Amy, I have done my utmost. I have done more than you can imagine.'

'No. You have toiled on in illness and anxiety--I know that. But a
chance is offered you now of working in a better way. Till that is
tried, you have no right to give all up and try to drag me down with
you.'

'I don't know how to answer. I have told you so often--You can't
understand me!'

'I can! I can!' Her voice trembled for the first time. 'I know that you
are so ready to give in to difficulties. Listen to me, and do as I bid
you.' She spoke in the strangest tone of command.

It was command, not exhortation, but there was no harshness in her
voice. 'Go at once to Mr Carter. Tell him you have made a ludicrous
mistake--in a fit of low spirits; anything you like to say. Tell him you
of course couldn't dream of becoming his clerk. To-night; at once! You
understand me, Edwin? Go now, this moment.'

'Have you determined to see how weak I am? Do you wish to be able to
despise me more completely