sieur le baron,' because I am reserving his honors till the last,
when they rained upon him."

Bixiou. "Oh! very good; that's theatrical,--the finale of the article."

Du Bruel [continuing]. "'In appointing Monsieur de la Billardiere
gentleman-in-ordinary--'"

Bixiou. "Very ordinary!"

Du Bruel. "'--of the Bedchamber, the King rewarded not only the services
rendered by the Provost, who knew how to harmonize the severity of his
functions with the customary urbanity of the Bourbons, but the bravery
of the Vendean hero, who never bent the knee to the imperial idol. He
leaves a son, who inherits his loyalty and his talents.'"

Bixiou. "Don't you think all that is a little too florid? I should tone
down the poetry. 'Imperial idol!' 'bent the knee!' damn it, my dear
fellow, writing vaudevilles has ruined your style; you can't come down
to pedestrial prose. I should say, 'He belonged to the small number of
those who.' Simplify, simplify! the man himself was a simpleton."

Du Bruel. "That's vaudeville, if you like! You would make your fortune
at the theatre, Bixiou."

Bixiou. "What have you said about Quiberon?" [Reads over du Bruel's
shoulder.] "Oh, that won't do! Here, this is what you must say: 'He took
upon himself, in a book recently published, the responsibility for all
the blunders of the expedition to Quiberon,--thus proving the nature of
his loyalty, which did not shrink from any sacrifice.' That's clever and
witty, and exalts La Billardiere."

Du Bruel. "At whose expense?"

Bixiou [solemn as a priest in a pulpit]. "Why, Hoche and Tallien, of
course; don't you read history?"

Du Bruel. "No. I subscribed to the Baudouin series, but I've never had
time to open a volume; one can't find matter for vaudevilles there."

Phellion [at the door]. "We all want to know, Monsieur Bixiou, what made
you think that the worthy and honorable Monsieur Rabourdin, who has so
long done the work of this division for Monsieur de la Billardiere,--he,
who is the senior head of all the bureaus, and whom, moreover, the
minister summoned as soon as he heard of the departure of the late
Monsieur de la Billardiere,--will not be appointed head of the
division."

Bixiou. "Papa Phellion, you know geography?"

Phellion [bridling up]. "I should say so!"

Bixiou. "And history?"

Phellion [affecting modesty]. "Possibly."

Bixiou [looking fixedly at him]. "Your diamond pin is loose, it is
coming out. Well, you may know all that, but you