and contempt by everyone,
and in a few months he was assassinated by his most trusted followers.

Several One Way Conversations

"Yes, they are shackles, but they are made of gold," said the man, as
he asked for another pair on his wrists and two more on his ankles.

* * *

"You can see how great I am by observing what I have done," said the
chisel to the other tools, as they gazed upon the beautiful statue.

* * *

"My word is as good as my check," said the forger, as he handed over
partial payment and promised to pay the balance later.

* * *

"May you get everything you want," said the philosopher to his enemy,
knowing that his enemy would not recognize his words as a curse.

* * *

"I'll teach this dirt not to muddy my shoes," said the man,
shoveling madly, only soon to discover himself in a pit.

* * *

"Now I see how essential material things are," said the man, as he
looked at the ashes of his burned down house.

* * *

"How dare you, who are nothing but a low worm, try to tell me what
to do," said the man, as he stood there unmoving, just before the
piano landed on him.

How the King Learned about Love

Back in the days of knights and chivalry and courtly love, a
beautiful young woman fell in love with a man of noble birth, who,
however, was already married. Their love continued to grow until
the woman granted and the man took more than virtue could properly
countenance and one morning the woman awakened with the right to use
the pronoun "we" whenever she spoke.

She realized that she could not inform her lover because of his
position, for he was not only married but also a very prominent
member of the court. So she concealed the matter remarkably over
many months, until, in the fullness of time, it could be concealed
no longer. At that point she resolved to throw herself on the mercy
of her mistress, the king's daughter, to whom she was a lady in
waiting. She took her newborn son to the princess and begged quite
pathetically for her help.

The king's daughter, knowing that he was a hard man who had never
hesitated to crush, kill, or otherwise persecute anyone who offended
him in the slightest, realized that she could not tell the truth or
say simply that the child had been found during one of the princess'
walks, because the king would then send it to a harsh life in an
orphanage--and that would be if she found him in a good mood. Sh