It just does me good to think of it!
Perk and haughty as he is, he grew as white as a
sheet when he saw me, and though he tried to put
on airs and carry it off with a high hand, he
failed, just as I knew he would when he came to
meet me on even ground. Oh, I'll have my way now,
and if I choose to stay in this place where I can
keep my eye on him, he won't dare to say No. The
only thing I fear is that he will do me a secret
mischief some day. His look was just murderous
when he left me."

"FEBRUARY 24, 1868.--Can I stand it? I ask myself
that question every morning when I get up. Can I
stand it? To sit all alone in my little narrow
room and know that he is going about as gay as you
please with people who wouldn't look at me twice.
It's awful hard; but it would be worse still to be
where I couldn't see what he was up to. Then I
should imagine all sorts of things. No, I will
just grit my teeth and bear it. I'll get used to
it after a while."

"OCTOBER 7, 1868.--If he says he never loved me he
lies. He did, or why did he marry me? I never
asked him to. He teased me into it, saying my
saucy ways had bewitched him. A month after, it
was common ways, rude ways, such ways as he
wouldn't have in a wife. That's the kind of man he
is."

"MAY 11, 1869.--One thing I will say of him. He
don't pay no heed to women. He's too busy, I
guess. He don't seem to think of any thing but to
get along, and he does get along remarkable. I'm
awful proud of him. He's taken to defending
criminals lately. They almost all get off."

"OCTOBER 5, 1870.--He pays me but a pittance. How
can I look like any thing, or hold my head up with
the ladies here if I cannot get enough together to
buy me a new fall hat. I _will_ not go to church
looking like a farmer's wife, if I haven't any
education or any manners. I'm as good as anybody
here if they but knew it, and deserve to dress as
well. He _must_ give me more money."

"NOVEMBER 2, 1870.--No, he sha'n't give me a cent
more. If I can't go to church I will stay at home.