in what I considered very good company, but which proved the very
reverse. By degrees I took to gambling, and after a time, lost more
money than I could afford to pay. This caused me to have recourse to a
Jew, who advanced me loans at a large interest to be repaid at my coming
of age. Trying to win back my money, I at last found myself indebted to
the Jew for the sum of nearly 1,000 pounds. The more that I became
involved, the more reckless I became. Mr Evelyn perceived that I kept
late hours, and looked haggard, as I well might; indeed, my position had
now become very awkward. Mr Evelyn knew well the sum that had been
left me, and how was I to account to him for the deficiency, if he
proposed that I should put it into the business? I should be ruined in
his opinion, and he never, I was convinced, would intrust the happiness
of his daughter to a young man who had been guilty of such
irregularities. At the same time, my love for her nearly amounted to
adoration. Never was there a more miserable being than I was for the
last six months previous to my coming of age; and to drown my misery I
plunged into every excess, and seldom, if ever, went to bed but in a
state of intoxication. Scheme after scheme did I propose to enable me
to conceal my fault; but I could hit upon nothing. The time approached;
I was within a few days of coming of age, when Mr Evelyn sent for me
and then spoke to me seriously, saying, that out of regard to the memory
of my father, with whom he had been very intimate, he was willing to
allow me to embark my little capital in the business, and that he hoped
that by my good conduct and application I might soon become a useful
partner. I stammered some reply, which surprised him; and he asked me
to be more explicit. I stated that I considered my capital too small to
be of much use in such a business as his, and that I preferred trying
some quick method of doubling it; that as soon as I had so done I would
accept his offer with gratitude. `As you please,' replied he coolly;
`but take care, that in risking all, you do not lose all. Of course,
you are your own master,' and so saying, he left me, apparently much
displeased and mortified. But circumstances occurred, which exposed the
whole affair. When in company with my evening companions, I stated my
intentions of trying my fortune in the East Indies, not seriously, but
talking at random. This came to the ears of the Jew of whom I had
borrowed