fact, endeavouring to turn an English parish
into something like a Jesuit benefice in the south of France."

"He tried that game," said I, "and the parish said--'Pooh, pooh,' and,
for the most part, went over to the Dissenters."

"Very true," said the man in black, taking a sip at his glass, "but why
were the Dissenters allowed to preach? why were they not beaten on the
lips till they spat out blood, with a dislodged tooth or two? Why, but
because the authority of the Church of England has, by its own fault,
become so circumscribed that Mr. Platitude was not able to send a host of
beadles and sbirri to their chapel to bring them to reason, on which
account Mr. Platitude is very properly ashamed of his Church, and is
thinking of uniting himself with one which possesses more vigour and
authority."

"It may have vigour and authority," said I, "in foreign lands, but in
these kingdoms the day for practising its atrocities is gone by. It is
at present almost below contempt, and is obliged to sue for grace _in
forma pauperis_."

"Very true," said the man in black, "but let it once obtain emancipation,
and it will cast its slough, put on its fine clothes, and make converts
by thousands. 'What a fine Church,' they'll say; 'with what authority it
speaks--no doubts, no hesitation, no sticking at trifles.' What a
contrast to the sleepy English Church! they'll go over to it by millions,
till it preponderates here over every other, when it will of course be
voted the dominant one; and then--and then--" and here the man in black
drank a considerable quantity of gin and water.

"What then?" said I.

"What then?" said the man in black, "why, she will be true to herself.
Let Dissenters, whether they be Church of England, as perhaps they may
still call themselves, Methodist, or Presbyterian, presume to grumble,
and there shall be bruising of lips in pulpits, tying up to
whipping-posts, cutting off ears and noses--he! he! the farce of King Log
has been acted long enough; the time for Queen Stork's tragedy is drawing
nigh;" and the man in black sipped his gin and water in a very exulting
manner.

"And this is the Church which, according to your assertion in the
public-house, never persecutes?"

"I have already given you an answer," said the man in black, "with
respect to the matter of the public-house; it is one of the happy
privileges of those who belong to my church to deny in the public-house
what they admit in the dingle;