d the respectability of my house," said the
landlord, "will the respectability of my house pay the brewer, or keep
the roof over my head? No, no! when respectability won't keep a man, do
you see, the best thing is to let it go and wander. Only let me have my
own way, and both the brewer, myself, and every one of us, will be
satisfied. And then the betting--what a deal we may make by the
betting--and that we shall have all to ourselves, you, I, and the young
woman; the brewer will have no hand in that. I can manage to raise ten
pounds, and if by flashing that about, I don't manage to make a hundred,
call me horse." "But, suppose," said I, "the party should lose, on whom
you sport your money, even as the birds did?" "We must first make all
right," said the landlord, "as I told you before; the birds were
irrational beings, and therefore couldn't come to an understanding with
the others, as you and the young woman can. The birds fought fair; but I
intend that you and the young woman should fight cross." "What do you
mean by cross?" said I. "Come, come," said the landlord, "don't attempt
to gammon me; you in the ring, and pretend not to know what fighting
cross is. That won't do, my fine fellow; but as no one is near us, I
will speak out. I intend that you and the young woman should understand
one another and agree beforehand which should be beat; and if you take my
advice you will determine between you that the young woman shall be beat,
as I am sure that the odds will run high upon her, her character as a
fist woman being spread far and wide, so that all the flats who think it
will be all right, will back her, as I myself would, if I thought it
would be a fair thing." "Then," said I, "you would not have us fight
fair?" "By no means," said the landlord, "because why? I conceives that
a cross is a certainty to those who are in it, whereas by the fair thing
one may lose all he has." "But," said I, "you said the other day, that
you liked the fair thing." "That was by way of gammon," said the
landlord; "just, do you see, as a Parliament cove might say, speechifying
from a barrel to a set of flats, whom he means to sell. Come, what do
you think of the plan?"

"It is a very ingenious one," said I.

"A'n't it?" said the landlord. "The folks in this neighbourhood are
beginning to call me old fool, but if they don't call me something else,
when they sees me friends with the brewer, and money in my pocket, my
name